I know it’s winter for a lot of people and so this is not going to seem very timely or topical for y’all. I apologize! And offer up a link to We Love Colors for all your tights needs. *grin*

But for fatties (and nonfats) in these first awesome (some would say cruel) days of summer, things are heating up fast. It’s no big surprise to me in Florida that we’re having 90 degree days (we’ve been doing that since May) that, with the heat index, feel like 110 (in the 40s, for my Celcius friends). But I know it’s running just about that hot in more northernly climes as well and people just aren’t as climate controlled.

And so I thought I’d throw out a little advice for being a fatty in the sun.

1. If you are not used to sun exposure, wear a hat and sunscreen. The paler the skin, the more vulnerable it tends to be. Stay out of direct sunlight as much as possible. Seriously, the last thing you want to deal with is sunburn. Experiment as much as possible with sunscreens until you find one that works for you. I hate feeling slimy so much that I just cannot deal with a large percentage of lotion-based sunscreens. HATE THEM. The one that works is also so expensive I almost laughed in the sales clerk’s face (it isn’t her fault, she doesn’t set the prices), so I settle for spray on sunscreens. Also, though it might seem counterintuitive, I wear a lot of long sleeves during the summer. Nothing heavy weight – light cottons or cotton/rayon stretchy knits. A physical barrier will help save your skin. Light flowy layers are often just as effective at being cool AND they provide some sun protection.

2. Stay hydrated! Carry water with you and drink it. Especially if you are outside walking to the bus stop or something like that. Even if you don’t think you’re sweating enough to get dehydrated, drinking water will help your body cool itself and manage your temperature more efficiently. In addition, if you ARE sweating, it is really easy to lose more moisture in the heat than you realize. Dehydration is NOT fun for the whole family or even a fraction of the whole family – meaning you. Caffinated beverages don’t count toward hydration. Flavored water, if you can’t abide plain water, is acceptable but make sure it doesn’t have too much crap in it. Crystral Light is, of all the diet products out there, actually one I’m okay with because if you are okay with artificial flavors and sweeteners than it makes water a lot more palatable for a lot of people. DRINK WATER. Gatorade and that sort of sports drink… not all they are cracked up to be. Don’t make those the bulk of your beverage intake, please.

3. Use a body powder. We talked a lot about body powders in the hygeine post – when the temp goes up, powders become even more of a useful option. And don’t just put some on in the morning and expect it to last all day – carry some with you and reapply if necessary. If you’re doing a lot of walking or commuting without A/C, this can be especially important for your own comfort. Put powder in areas that tend to be sweaty or otherwise hold moisture – underbust, armpits, crotch, between rolls. You can go wild and dust your whole body! It’s pretty freaking awesome. This’ll help with chaffing in general as well. Relatedly, someone suggested wearing a cotton camisole (not a tank top!) under your bra – that is a FANTASTIC idea.

Note: Any sort of external product is going to wear away. That’s why I suggest carrying stuff like powder with you (and I have more maintenance tips in just a minute). You can put powder on at home but then if you walk to work or commute in a car with no A/C or something like that, once you get to work you might feel kind of gross. That’s when it’s handy to reapply your powder. Clean up in your work bathroom, redust, and you’ll feel way more comfortable than your coworkers who didn’t take that step. The real trick of living in the heat, I’ve found, is not solely about prevention – it’s about being able to handle things DURING the day in ways that minimize your discomfort or that make it less intrusive. It takes some forethought but it’s usually hella worth it to go through the little bit of extra trouble.

4. Carry baby wipes/facial wipes with you. I use those MAC face wipes to clean off my makeup and I also use them when I just feel sweaty and GROSS. Wipes tend to be cooling but they also keep me feeling CLEAN. If you worry about smelling bad after sweating, wipes will especially help. Make sure to get something that you can use on sensitive areas. I know some people are more sensitive than others in the genital bits – I can use the MAC wipes with no probs but your mileage may vary and it’s important to find something that works for you. Actually, even just wiping off my face and neck can make a HUGE difference when it comes to my comfort in the heat. You don’t have to do a full-body rub down or anything. Small things make a difference.

5. Carry a hand towel if necessary. When I lived in Thailand and when I continued to visit Thailand and other countries, I noticed that people often carried small towels, sometimes just wash clothes, with them. It took me a little observing to figure it out but people were carrying towels so they could dry their face when they started to sweat. OH. THAT MAKES SENSE. I’ve seen it as an adult among the population of immigrants from South and Central America as well. It just makes sense, y’all. If you’re going to sweat, carry a small something with which to dry off. You’ll feel better! Simple solution! Seriously, this was one of those super self-evident things that I kind of smacked myself in the head about because OF COURSE.

6. If possible, turn off the lights, especially between 1 and 4 when the sun and heat are at their worst. This might not work in your office, but, hey, people might go for it! Stay inside, if you can, during that span of time as well. It’s not the time to go out and do your heavy chores. Frankly, I’d declare that siesta time if I could when the weather gets like this. It’s really pleasant to take a nice nap when the inside is nice and dark and cool and the outside is bright and hot. In lieu of a nap, just take it easier and stay hydrated during those hours. Also, if you ARE outside, be extra vigilant about the sunscreen and hydration. I’m not sure how much it applies the further north you go, but here, especially during those hours, it doesn’t matter if it is cloudy, you can still get sunburned. And heatstroke is always an issue, cloudcover or no. Protect yourself during the height of the day’s heat.

7. Wear fabrics that breathe. This does not just mean natural fabrics – I actually hate linen in the summer because it crumples up and wrinkles like mad in the humidity. And some man-made fabrics do a really good job of keeping heat at bay and keeping air flowing. Find what works for you and wear it – whether that means shorts or dresses or whatevers. I would say avoid tight things – the more constricted you are, the sweatier you are going to be and the more uncomfortable. But clothing and comfort is so individual that, really, you just have to experiment. I wear a lot of jeans during the summer because the length of the jeans don’t bother me. Jeans are more comfortable than shorts because shorts ride up in unpleasant ways. Work it out and go with it.

8. Eat summery foods! When it is super hot out, fruit can be a serious pick me up. And dishes that don’t come to you steaming hot can also make a difference in your comfort level. I tend to favor a lot of noodle dishes in the extreme heat. Noodles don’t sit heavy in my stomach which keeps me from feeling sick when I have to go outside. Remember, you can freeze a lot of fruit, too, and cool off a little bit that way. If you don’t like fruit, that’s okay, too. Popsicles are not just for kids! (Nor are pudding pops, I’d like to point out.)

9. Change your clothes. Even just some of your clothes. If you know you’re going to be sweatsoaked by lunch time, take a change of underwear with you. Clean undergarments, including socks, can make you feel like you’re wearing a whole new outfit. But if you need a whole new outfit to feel comfortable, bring a whole new outfit. It is okay to change when you get home or at some point during the day. I’d say, if you have to wear pantyhose, 100% change those suckers during the day at work. Nothing traps heat and moisture like pantyhose, man.

10. Create opportunities to cool down. If you are inside, this can be as simple as putting a bowl of ice in front of a fan. (You might be surprised by how well this can cool an area.) If you are outside, it can mean taking rest breaks far more often than you think you need them. The military has work tables that show how long people can work in varying temps under varying conditions wearing varying gear. You might be surprised how quickly it can turn into working 20 minutes and resting 40 minutes. Don’t have unreasonable expectations for yourself when it’s this freaking hot, okay? Take a cool shower just to cool off. Suck on an ice cube. Drink a cool beverage. Stick your feet under cool running water (you lose a lot of heat through your feet, your hands, and your head – cool these and you’ll help cool the rest of your body) or your wrists under the cold faucet. Sit in the shade.

You might not be able to entirely prevent periods of discomfort, but you can make the rest of your day a lot more pleasant. Keep in mind, too, the heat can be actively dangerous for small children, the elderly, and small animals.

Signs of heat exhaustion include: nausea, vomiting, fatique, weakness, headache, muscle cramps, and dizziness. If you are experiencing heat exhaustion or are with someone who is, find a cool and shady area – get out of the sun and heat. COOL OFF. Heat exhaustion is less severe than heat stroke but can quickly progress to heat stroke. Stave it off by bring down your body temp (or the temp of the person suffering from it). Take it seriously.

Signs of heat stroke include: high body temp, the absence of sweating, flushed hot skin, rapid pulse, difficulty breathing, strange behavior, confusion, hallucinations, agitation, disorientation, seizure, and coma. Obviously, heat stroke is a BIG DEAL. If you think you or someone else is experiencing heat stroke, get out of the sun. Call emergency services – this is not optional, y’all – heat stroke can kill. Call emergency services as soon as possible. While you wait, find a place to cool off. Remove clothing if possible. Bath skin in tepid or cool water – NOT cold. Fan yourself or the person suffering. Use ice packs if you have them, under the armpits and on the groin. (Be sure to wrap the ice packs as the shock of frozen ice packs can damage skin tissue.) Moniter body temp – people suffering from heat stroke can have temps as high as 106 degrees! This is not healthy. Continue efforts and try to bring it down to at least 101. Keep these efforts up until emergency services arrive. Don’t fuck around with heat stroke, okay?

People are comfortable in the heat to varying degrees but hopefully these tips can help make it easier for everyone to survive in comfort and with less anxiety about being fat and sweaty. Thin people are struggling, too. It’s hot, y’all! That isn’t your body’s fault. Take care of you out there.

ETA: Also, while we’re on the subject, never EVER leave your animal or a small child in a locked car in the summer. I don’t care how fast you think you’ll be. The temperature inside a car can climb by 7 degrees inside 5 minutes. If it’s already 100 degrees out, well, you do the math. And then keep doing the math because the temp can climb 13 degrees in 10 minutes, and 30 degrees in 30 minutes. It can climb faster but these are the conservative table numbers in use at the moment. You might think you’re just running in for a quick, I don’t know, Slurpee or something, but it’s really not worth the risk. Cracking a sliver of window doesn’t help as much as you think it does. A car – BIG METAL BOX – can heat to over a hundred degrees faster than oven. Keep that in mind.