So, I read this post the other day in a friend’s lj and I have been thinking about it ever since. We don’t talk about hygiene much – and it has actually never really occurred to me to do so beyond “if you need a bathing aid, you can find that here” with an accompanying link. So I read about her shower routine and I nodded at the parts that I agree with and shook my head at the parts I could never ever ever do.

Because bathing and hygiene routine is about as individual as every thing else with fatties. I doubt I would ACTUALLY die if I covered myself in baby oil – but you never know! *laugh*

However, it’s an important topic – one of the coded things that people mean when they say fat is “smelly.” And when people have folds of skin, it can increase the chances of your body smelling different from someone else’s body.

It wasn’t too long after college when a friend of mine came back from Europe and announced, one day when we were talking about his trip, that he’d decided to give up wearing deodorants and antiperspirants. It was an interesting decision – we do live in Florida and this was in the summertime – and I was kind of fascinated by it at the time.

Sweat, he said, didn’t smell BAD. It just smelled like sweat. He showered every day, he wore clean clothes, he liked the way bodies had their own smells.

I look back on that conversation now and it is still really fucking cool to me and really radical. Because it implies the notion that natural bodies don’t have to smell a certain sanitary, indeed sterile way. In fact, when he stopped wearing deodorant, he smelled really, really good.

My day job is a desk job. I’m not a very sweaty person in general. I shower routinely (I wash my hair rather infrequently, however) and make sure I’m clean and wearing clean things. I wear deodorant but if I forget… *shrug* It is not the end of the world.

That said, because it isn’t something that gets talked about and because I know I had so much body shame as a teenager that I never would have ASKED anyone about it, omfg, let’s discuss:

What works for you?

What has not worked for you?

What works for me is this: I use a variety of shower gels from Bath and Body Works because they smell nice. I use Coalface, a more astringent soap from Lush on my face and sometimes where I am extra rolly. I exfoliate like a fiend because I tend toward dryness and if I don’t, I get flaky and I don’t like being flaky. I like cooler showers, especially with my hair being dyed, but I like really hot baths – as long as I am exfoliating (I use a shower puff), then it’s all good. I have a shower puff on a stick so I can properly exfoliate my back. It’s easier than playing contortionist. I dry off with a bath sheet. I hate shrimpy little towels. I do like to sit around naked for a little while but that’s mostly because I like sitting around naked and I don’t like to immediately put clean clothes on skin that is even a little bit damp. Especially after a hot bath. I also use shower gel to shave my legs and underarms. Here is my confession: some days I just don’t have time for a full-on shower. My great-grandmother had a particularly problematic name for it but I learned from her that baby wipes will clean up your significant areas (boobs, underarms, crotch, neck, face, feet) really well. That is, of course, if I haven’t been doing anything exertion-ish.

What has not worked for me is this: A WIDE variety of soaps and gels – the wrong thing will break me out over my whole body and that totally sucks. Lotions after the fact – eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. I always feel gross when I put lotion or oil on after a bath/shower. Getting dressed in the bathroom immediately after my shower is also a no-go – it leaves me feeling moist and awful for hours afterwards.

This sort of thing is super individual. If you sweat more than I do, you might feel a lot more attached to your deodorant, for example. That’s cool. There is not one right way to do any of this.

Also: the value of a person is not dependent on their aroma. Even if you do wind up stinky, you are still a valuable and worthwhile person, okay?

Bathing in perfumes is also not a great way to go. I know some people are super in love with their fragrances but when you’re trapped in an elevator, it can be a lot to deal with even for people who DON’T have issues with scented products. I tend to avoid perfumes though I have a couple solid perfumes I love like mad for when I know I won’t be bothering anyone – and even then I apply them conservatively. Remember, you apply perfume to pulse points. When you exert yourself, the scent will be released even more strongly. Trying to cover body odor with perfume is not a winning strategy.

There are other medical issues, particularly when you have skin that overlaps, that can come into play. Some people are prone to skin yeast infections. Some people develop sores. Asking a doctor about this can be super humiliating – but if you don’t trust your doctor not to make you feel like shit because you’re asking about this, you might need a new doctor. Runners are also prone to chaffing and skin yeast infections. So it isn’t like you are the only person to ever have this issue.

One of my very favorite things about the tv show Dexter (about a very charming sociopath) is that it is set in Miami and everyone SWEATS. People sweat. It’s a built-in cooling mechanism. It happens and you should not be ashamed of it. Thin people also sweat!

Actually, my great-grandmother pointed out to me once that horses sweat. Men perspire. She never did finish it up with the stereotypical “women glow” nonsense – but I’m not sure what women were allowed to do. *laugh*

In any event, I don’t think fat hygiene is all that different from the hygiene practiced by thin people. What I DO think is that many, many, several fat people are so disconnected from their bodies that taking care of them in that kind of way is not a priority – or they activelly don’t believe they are worth the time and effort or they are so disgusted with their own bodies they actively avoid being naked with themselves.

It sounds funny, sure. But I’ve known several people who were so uncomfortable being naked that they could not even be naked with themselves. That has nothing to do with lacking an understanding of basic hygiene and everything to do with self-loathing.

Geeks hear it a lot, too. Different social groups have different social skills and expectations. It happens. Given how many fat geeks there are – and how geeks tend to be picked on and discouraged from actually living in their bodies, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if some of it came from the same place.

I actually really enjoy my hygiene rituals – it goes back to the self-care we were talking about not too long ago. It’s taking care of yourself and treating your body WELL. Your body, no matter what, deserves to be treated well. That’s true whether you are thin or fat or disabled or chronically ill or WHATEVER.

Treat yourself WELL.