Halloween always feels so fraught. I can’t just run out and buy a costume – hell, I can’t just run out and buy underpants if the airline loses my luggage and there are no plus-size stores nearby. And even if I could, there just aren’t that many fat people I’d want to pretend to be.
This is not because there are not awesome fat people. It’s because if I dressed up as Lesley (which would crack me up no end, honestly, I think it’d be the funniest thing ever if fatties from the blogs dressed as each other), no one who doesn’t know Lesley would know who I was.
The theme at work this year was rock stars. I could have been Mama Cass. Or Meat Loaf.
I considered being Beth Ditto.
But in the end, I dressed in some of my more outlandish clubby clothes and I was a groupie.
I didn’t want to wind up doing what one of my coworkers spent the day doing – explaining that I was the fat version of someone.
She was the fat Lita Ford. As Lita Ford kicks ass, I thought it was awesome.
But I didn’t want to be the one having that conversation over and over and over again. As it was, I know there were snickers because fat goth groupies? Really? But yes.
It’s the same dilemma every year. Do you go as a fat person or do you make the vaguely apologetic comment about how you’re the version of Debbie Harry that gained weight?
That gets old to me.
Throw in the way women are relegated, for the most part, to playing “slutty” ________ (fill in the job description here) on Halloween, and it’s just a recipe for me sitting on my sofa kind of hating one of my favorite holidays.
THAT IS NO FUN.
So, what’s a fatty to do?
On a practical level, I’ve found going for a more creative but less specific costume helps a lot. “I’m a flight attendant” does not require a fat disclaimer.
That’s the kicker, y’all. I am sick of having to give the fat disclaimer.
But beyond that practical level, remember that, if you’re dressing up, this is a time designed for visibility. Standing out in a crowd is not always easy, especially if you are just getting into the whole body acceptance game. But Halloween is such a good time to play with that.
It is, of course, totally cool by me if you aren’t into costumes at all. Lots of people are not.
But I thought I’d mention: Playing around with another identity, even just for a night, can be super liberating and a lot of plain old fun. Especially if that identity is not competing with some thin ideal of itself.
33 Comments
Why add the disclaimer at all? When I dressed as Abby Scutio last week, I sure didn’t.
Totally cute!
I think a lot of people – like my coworker – give the disclaimer as an apology for not actually looking like the rail thin Joan Jett, for example. It was interesting – there were, like, 5 Ozzy Osbournes and not one of them apologized for not having the same body type. But even our Ann Wilson was running around complaining that when you’re 50, you don’t look like ANYONE famous because you’re older and fatter. Sort of a preemptive apology for not being good enough. Which is so super depressing.
I went as Mama Cass the last time I went trick or treating (at 17 years of age.) I trick or treated at my best friend’s dad’s house (the guy literally thought I was made of Satan or something, totally hated me) and when he came to the door he was all like “what the hell are you supposed to be?” and when I said Mama Cass, he cracked up. I think that’s the only time that guy ever had a positive emotion related to me. 8-P
I just can’t be bothered with a Halloween costume but mostly because it’s hard to put one together in plus-size, rather than ever feeling the need to be apologetic about my size. Then again, I don’t go as specific people, so it’s never even crossed my mind that it would be an issue.
My son will be forever scarred by the fact that he’s never had a Halloween costume (he’s three) and won’t have one until next year because he doesn’t know the difference
Can you tell Halloween doesn’t register much on my radar?!
I still think you should’ve crossdressed as Eddie Riggs. The ads are everywhere now and you would’ve gotten to carry an axe. But this was a good alternative.
“Do you go as a fat person or do you make the vaguely apologetic comment about how you’re the version of Debbie Harry that gained weight?”
OMG! That made me laugh out loud.
I kinda look like a fatter version of Debbie Harry all year round, but I don’t consciously dress like her, so I don’t have to give any apologetic explanations.
Halloween isn’t originally a holiday over here but for the past few years it’s gained immense popularity and this year, I’m having my first real Halloween party!
So of course I was buzzed about a costume and then instantly worried because omg where would I find one in my size?
Then I found a plus sized costumes store in the UK. I did a little dance.
Actually, I *do* have a sexy costume. Not a slutty one though. But I don’t mind – I *want* to look damn sexy, and I’m elated that I *can*. That they make these costumes up to size 26 that are still sexy is worth another dance for me, because I translate it to “we know you’re fat, but that don’t mean you can’t be hot”.
I like to go as something confusing, that involves some kind of verb. For instance, I really want to go as DNA ligase, and spend my evening tying things together with bits of string. (Yes, I’m a geek. But that means my friends are all geeks, and at least some of them would get the joke.)
I’m going to a party tonight dressed as a kitten waitress, so cat mask, cat mittens, a bell and bow around my neck, and a stuffed toy rat taped into a toy fry pan, wearing a ripped waitressy sort of dress.
Ripped because it zips up from the middle, but it’s too small for me, so I’m going to cut it open and wear it over a petticoat type dress/skirt. So I’m thinking I’ll be a vaguely rockabilly cat cook/waitress…
I feel your pain. I’m Asian and I don’t really feel comfortable dressing up as anyone famous or recognizable without a disclaimer. Today, I met a Black, big girl who dressed up as Audrey Hepburn from Breaksfast at Tiffany’s. She looked awesome!
I’m going out tomorrow night dressed as a buxom viking woman. I have home-made faux fur leg-warmers, a sword and a cape, so excited! I feel like I’ve found a costume that my fatness helps me pull off better than any skinny person could.
I went as Tracy Turnblad from Hairspray a few times. I figured it was the one character where my being fat was a requirement!
(The one downside to the costume is that I’m tall and she’s supposed to be short, but the weight and hair are the main features people associate with her)
I go as a big bay whenever I go out, as I have found these warm Onesies I scored from Target… i am comfy, warm, and I get to carry a bottle filled of grown up juice all night…
OOPS! Baby!!! Big Baby
The viking is good!
I go in my Rennissance costumes, I feel special and fun in them…and no apologies needed.
That is an awesome pic of you. Maybe I’ll go goth tonight.
I’m just not sure how it works with the glasses. And I don’t know how to pluck my eyebrows. 
I love Halloween and this time of year, but this year I’m kind of meh on the whole costume thing myself. I think it’s less about being fat and more about not having another identity that I’m really drawn to exploring atm.
ButI hate that women, as a group, feel the need to apologize a)for our appearances and b)for not looking celebrity enough. That’s just wrong.
Maybe for Halloween I’ll dress as a confident, happy version of myself.
I love the eye makeup! I was a punk rock princess last night, so I went heavy on the dark eye makeup; it was fun.
Tonight I’m going to be Tina Turner. And I don’t plan on apologizing for not having her legs or exact hair color…or being thin. This is Halloween, it’s all about pretending and dress up.
i’ve always thought one of the coolest “plus size” halloween costumes would be ursula the sea witch. now if i only had the times and skillz to put it together.
I went as Calamity Jane from Deadwood. I guess I never thought of myself as “the fat Calamity Jane.”
But, when we wound up at the goth club after going to an event at SF MOMA where friends were performing, I spent the evening in tension between “I’m glad my costume is original and I made it myself” and “I am NEVER going to get any play dressed like this.” Because the Gothic Vixen Slut Force was out in spades, and it’s hard enough when you’re fat and also working some version of the Gothic Vixen Slut look (I tend to de-emphasize the slut aspect personally), but when you’re wearing ill-fitting pants, a mannish shirt/vest/coat ensemble, you’ve aged the whole thing to look dirty and worn, and your makeup is meant to communicate “I’ve been riding a horse out in the sun for miles and miles, I probably passed out drunk in the dirt, and I don’t bathe much”…
Yeah.
I danced to a few songs but I felt a right idiot doing it. And I saw a few cute people but decided the idea of trying to meet anyone was laughable. Which is always the fat girl dilemma I have at Halloween and other costume occasions (which we have many of in the Bay Area): if I go as something unfeminine, I feel at a much, much bigger disadvantage than a thin and conventionally attractive woman.
You look so cute! Reminds me of when I dressed up Goth, back in the day.
Being a boobilicious babe myself I tend to do Mae West or Elvira. Both can be done without a costume by digging in the closet. Haven’t thought of the Viking thing but love it. Also thought about one of those warrior women for the Conan novel covers, none of them are skinny and I do got some good legs…….
I’d never dream of going as the “fat version” of someone for Halloween. Or picking a fat character just because I was fat. Halloween is the time to have fun and be whatever you want. I’ve been Judge Judy for Halloween even though I’m probably twice as tall and three times as wide as she is. I usually go to a huge party where there are tons of drag queens in attendance. Those folks look fabulous and I would never think someone wasn’t a good Cinderella because I could see an Adam’s apple.
I went as Taylor Swift this year (my boyfriend was Kanye West). I barely looked like her. Besides the fact I’ve probably got a good 150+ pounds on her, I had a generic long blonde wig that didn’t really resemble her hairstyle. But I had an MTV Moonman award (an action figure covered in tin foil) and my boyfriend had shuttershades and a microphone he could grab out of my hand. It doesn’t really matter that we looked only slightly like the real thing; people thought it was a scream and wanted to take our picture all night. We entered the costume contest and as I strutted across the stage with my Moonman and my boyfriend grabbed the mic out of my hand the crowd cheered. A few hundred people loving our costume more than made up for us not winning a prize and it never entered anyone’s mind (least of all my own) that I was too fat to be Taylor Swift.
Why on earth would you “apologize” for being fat….? If you dressed as someone shorter than you, would you apologize for being too tall?
It never in a million years would have occurred to me to say I was the fat version of something. Nor would it have occurred to me that I was somehow not able/not allowed to be a “slutty” something-or-other for Halloween if I so desired (actually, I was a pretty slutty-looking pirate this year). Maybe you’re just saying you don’t want to wear a slutty costume, which is fine, but it sounds as though you’re saying fats *can’t*, and I don’t get that at all.
You don’t need to place all these artificial limitations on yourself – please!
Your costume looks awesome. As does the eye makeup.
One year when our boss at work had decided we were allowed to dress up, I wore a black Goth frock, ankh, top hat and appropriate makeup and went in as Death from the Sandman comics. When people know you work in close proximity to the hospital morgue, this is quite effective. Only trouble was, the people who weren’t comic geeks thought I was supposed to be Stevie Nicks.
But I felt no need to identify myself as Fat Death (or Fat Stevie).
I had nothing planned this weekend, but if something had come up, I was toying with the idea of Punk Cheerleader. Pompoms, tattoos, anarchy signs, and attitude far more important than body size. (Weather, quite another matter. Glad I wasn’t trick-or-treating in the torrential rain we’ve had here, actually.)
One year I went as a fat/black Margot Tennenbaum. It was really fun. I think the faux fur coat and the plastic baby barrette sold the costume.
Oh, interesting. I never think of myself as a “fat such-and-such”. I was thinking Edward Scissorhands would be fun (next year), and I’m OK with being fat. And not as hot as Johnny Depp.
This year I was Drowned Prom Queen.
I just stumbled onto this blog, and I feel like I’ve finally come home. Hooray!! How wonderful to find a place where women don’t bash each other. I’m grabbing a Coke and some cookies and I’m going to peruse the site for awhile to brighten my Monday.
@ Emerald: I went as Sandman’s Death last year, at a party full of comic-nerd pagans.
This year I went as a Living Dead Doll (http://www.mezcotoyz.com/store/ldd.aspx).
HTML fail. Sorry.
This is really interesting, because I, like a few others, have never really felt limited about dressing up, but mainly that’s because I dress up as occupations or ideas and not people (this year I was a referee, in past years I’ve been a cop, a ganster, a fortune teller, etc… ) & a good friend of mine who is also plus size goes crazy all out (one year she was the garden of Eden).
BUT, I will say that this year I thought of being Marilyn Monroe ’cause I got this great white dress at LB and I never wear it. I didn’t do it in part because I didn’t want to be cold or spend money on a wig, but also…I did feel like I don’t really “look” like MMonroe. And when I mentioned the costume idea to some folks I got sort of weird looks.
so yeah, maybe I’m more in your shoes than I thought.
BUT, I will also say that my friends and I went out (including my one other fat friend) and we had so much time and I felt like Halloween & everyone being dressed up ridiculously (I was in a big city where everyone was dressed up) actually liberated me from being fat. It was a no holes barred night on the town and it felt wonderful!
I don’t give the “fat version of” excuse.
I was Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction, as she was overdosing.
Even though I am in no way built like Uma Thurmon, I was not fat Mia Wallace, just Mia Wallace.
She doesn’t have brown eyes, either, but I never put a qualifier on that.
I think it’s fine for people not to want to use “the fat ___” but since fat isn’t a bad word, I’m not uncomfortable using it as a description. It’s interesting that fat can be shouted in some situations, but needs to be shunned or discarded in others. I am fat. I am black and I was Margot Tennenbaum. Each one of those things was true about me on that particularly night, with two those things being true of me all the time.
i don’t understand why you need a disclaimer at all? why not dress up as you want and go as you are and say screw you to anyone who comments? no one should have to apologize for their physical attributes. ever.