Okay, I originally posted this to my livejournal but I am posting it here, too. Because while The Rotund is a Fat Acceptance blog, it is still my blog and I can post whatever I want even if it is technically off-topic. This post has nothing to do with fat but I hope you read it. And I hope you get it.
Obviously, if you get this, it isn’t addressed to you. White people talk about black people as if they were a homogenous group all the time so don’t get your undies in a bunch when white people are grouped the same way. This about not you as an individual white person; it’s about white people as an historic cultural group.
1. There really is such a thing as white privilege. Privilege functions systemically. It does not ensure you will receive every possible advantage ever but it does mean you are likely to have things a bit easier – i.e., it means you can say things like, “But why can’t we just forget about race? There is only one, the HUMAN race!” We don’t live in a world where this is a viable life strategy for people of color, unfortunately. They are not allowed to forget, because our culture is set up to constantly remind them, that they have a different skin tone.
2. Sure, white is a color. But “people of color” is not a designation that was born in a vacumm. Dude, people of color used to straight up be called “colored” so don’t go telling me that “people of color” is exclusionary when white people are the ones who made that distinction in the first place.
3. A space that is designed for people of color is not racist. It’s exclusionary, sure, but we all exclude people based on a million different standards every day. Pulling out the tired old horse, “Well, if it was a group for only white people, everyone would say it was racist!” doesn’t get you anywhere because the two are not equivalent situations. In American culture (and in many other countries around the world), the white people are the ones with the power. When those in power work to exclude a group that has historically been stripped of all power at every opportunity…. Yeah, that doesn’t work. When a group that has no room in mainstream society to speak and know that their voices will be heard gets together and doesn’t invite white people? It is to protect the only space in which their voices will be heard. That’s rather a different set of circumstances. White voices are well represented. A blog carnival or a community or whatever that doesn’t make sure to invite white people to the party? IS NOT GOING TO DROWN OUT THE WEIGHT OF THE WHITE VOICE IN OUR SOCIETY. I typed that in all caps because it is important. Does it suck to feel left out? Absolutely. On a personal level it feels like a personal rejection. But this isn’t about whether you as an individual have something good to say – you probably do. It’s about the way our culture is structured and needing to step outside that for a while.
4. If a person of color tells you they have experienced a certain form of oppression, they probably have. They’d be the ones to know, what with having experienced it and all. Invalidating that experience by explaining why it couldn’t possibly have really been oppressive is a jerk move. Don’t be a jerk. Instead, actually listen and learn and, if you were involved in the oppression situation, try not to repeat it.
5. Don’t touch people’s hair without permission and give it some damn good thought before you ask permission. I mean, seriously. What is up with touching people’s hair without permission? This has happened to me and it freaks me out every single time. This goes for all people, actually. Were you raised in a barn? No touchy!
6. Accept that we all screw up sometimes. That is actually okay, because we get to learn from these experiences. What is not okay? Denying that we ever screw up. If someone tells you a certain term is racist, I realize you are going to feel defensive. Walk away for a bit if you have to but don’t do the knee jerk, ZOMG I AM NOT A RACIST MY BLACK FRIEND SAYS IT IS OKAY TO USE THAT WORD! The task before us as members of the dominant – and by dominant I mean we’re the ones with the cultural power – social group is to train ourselves to think about this stuff. A lot of people have never thought about it before and it can be really tiring to think about it – it’s hard work! But remember, people of color don’t get to take a vacation from this. This leads me to my next point.
7. People of color are not a monolithic group. Just because one friend told you it was okay to use certain language, make certain references, wear certain clothes, whatever, that doesn’t mean other people of color are going to be okay with it. Justifying your actions when called on something by claiming that your black friend is okay with it doesn’t really go over well, for good reason. Accept that you have offended someone. Apologize. Consider what changing your action would cost you. Change or not, it is up to you. If you don’t change, you’ll be called on it again, I’m sure. And if you DO change you may very well be called on it anyway. This is actually okay.
8. Acknowledge that cultural appropriation is a hot topic. Give it a think and navigate it as best as you can. Everyone has different comfort levels with this one. Some things trigger some people but not others. Try be honest with yourself and others. Keep in mind that white people have made an entire history out of finding new cultures and stealing their shit. It’s not going to hurt us to be sensitive to that.
9. “White” is actually an ever-changing term. At various points throughout history, if you were Irish, German, Jewish, Italian, Spanish, Hispanic, Slavic, or Greek, you were not white. That’s why we still have so many of those charming* slurs for people of those heritages. At this point in time, as the definition continues to shift, there are many light-skinned Africans (especially Egyptians, I have noticed) and people of Middle Eastern heritage (particularly, I think, Syria) who are considered white. So get over the whole white superiority thing.
10. Can we please, white middle-aged dudes especially, get over the idea that anything white people think of how people of color define themselves matters in the greater scheme of things? It isn’t the job of people of color to run their terminology before white people before they use it to reference themselves. It isn’t the job of people of color (or any other oppressed group) to make it easier for you to understand why they are angry (and their anger is justified, you better believe) or why you are not worthy of automatic respect and trust. You’re a smart dude/chick/whatever. Use your google-fu, read some books, talk to some people, LISTEN to some people, do some thinking. Don’t expect congratulations for being a decent human being. Make a little room for other people to speak and listen when they do. It isn’t a challenge to your well-being. It’s an opportunity to help truly level the playing field a little bit.
* And by charming, you know I mean repulsive, yes?
22 Comments
*raucous applause*
AMEN!
That is all.
Right the fuck on.
Oooh, yesyesyes!!
It’s so nice to see White people finally “getting it” and laying it all out there for other people.
Great post! I loverz it.
This reminds me again why, as a high fuctioning autistic/Asperger’s syndrome, I consider it necessary to not take part in public discourse and silence myself most of the time. i agree with you on almost everything here, and I know that my own benefiting from white privelige is very real, and very wrong.But since i can barely function in my own white middle class culture and I know i can’t make myself acceptable to the People of Color who are right to see me as the oppressor, I should shut up and go away. and yes, I need to stop pretending that autism/ptsd ec t is ever an excuse and lose the seff pity.
“Keep in mind that white people have made an entire history out of finding new cultures and stealing their shit. ”
I agree with many of your points but this one upset me a bit. I think that the white entertainment industry has certainly done the above but I don’t know of too many individual white people who have “found new cultures and stole their shit” I’m not even sure what you mean by that actually. I guess that depends on your definition of “white people” because all the Indo-European groups have had their own cultures and many of those people have “white” skin and are considered “white”. I guess I’m just a bit confused.
One of my favorite geeky gamer bloggers has a whole list about privilege, including links to many posts, discussions, and articles about the topic.
Seriously, on the hair, no touchy!
Hee! iTunes actually had “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist” playing just as I opened this up — which is basically a song-length expansion on point 6.
Also: good post.
I didn’t comment on the LJ entry (simply because when I saw it, it was late, I was tired enough to be a little bit cross-eyed, and I wanted to read through all the other comments before opening my big fat mouth), so I’ll say something here.
You. Fucking. Rock.
My. Socks. Off.
Thank you so much for re-posting that. I can still remember (with shame) how indignant I was after being told I held racist views ( I was attending an Equalities training session). I was mortified for days afterwards, muttering to myself ..”I’m not racist, good grief, I have people of colour in my family!” *Rolls eyes*
I am eternally grateful to the person who called me out on this – because once I got over myself I realised it was true. It took the lid off my defensiveness and let me start get to grips with the whole notion of my own privalage. Its a journey I’m still on.
I like the list.
And how many problems in the world could be solved with #4? “Shhhhh….just listen.”
Thanks. I often feel marginalized, altho I am white. I belong to several cultural/ethnic groups that have been “outsiders’ (some that you have named and some you have not) and as a person have belonged to marginalized groups within the population at a time when it was not prevalent. So I have felt outright prejudice from other “white” people, as well as negative judgement and assumption from people of color. Beacuse of those experiences, I feel the problem personally in a way some white people probably never do. But you are right, none of that equates exactly to the race prejudice people of color feel and have to deal with on a daily basis as a lifelong burden. I especially like where you say that a protected space does not equal racism. It puts me in mind of those feeding cribs they use so that adult sheep won’t eat all the baby lambs’ food.
Not sure.
I agree with the general jist of the artical – white people need to recognise the impact our shameful history has had on black people (where do Chinese, Indians etc fit in your very politically correct grouping, “People of Colour”?”).
The rest of it just seems like primary school lectures on being a nice person, regardless of the disclaimers at the start of the piece.
Over here in the UK we have serious problems with racism etc and society isn’t perfect, but can you honestly say that repeating the old mantras in the way that you have will make any difference at all? I have written that article a thousand times.
And to revisit the “People of Colour” issue, who on God’s earth sanctioned that phrase? Jesus, it’s the most patronising thing I’ve ever heard.
I live in Texas, and #9 is soooo relevant here.
My family is Jewish, some of us look Middle Eastern. Sometimes we get a little extra scrutiny at the airport, but we are well-accepted as White. BUT Latinos who are lighter than we are have to prove their residence status to rent houses and put their children in school. Even Tejano families, who have been here longer than there has been a Texas, are made aware of their otherness by people’s reaction to them scores of times throughout their day.
The idea that this is not racist is absurd.
Great list. I like numbers one through ten best. ;D
I think the greatest part about your list is that it poses a grand challenge to people: TO THINK!
I’m still confused about #5, though. People touch your hair? That’s just creepy, no matter what… *shudders*
Wow. Thank you so much for this.
I love this post!
I’m a light skinned Latina and have been subjected to so many racist conversations because people assume I’m white. It’s really sad. The worst thing is that sometimes I’m left speechless at what some people say.
I hope someday, your thinking will be the norm. Thank you for your words.
KUDOS! BRAVO! YEAH. I’m so forwarding this.
I’m a white girl and I’ve had people of all colors (including white) touch my hair. Apparently, it is super soft and shiny. It is creepy as hell.
OMae, white cultures have, throughout history, practiced colonialism on a grand scale. The quest has always been for land, resources, and wealth. And it has never really mattered, historically, if a bunch of people already lived there. Again, as I stated in the intro, this isn’t about individuals, it’s about historic cultural groups.
Hell, we’re still doing it. From kanji tattoos to Ganesh tshirts, if we see something we like, we take it and turn a profit on it.
Fatfairy, having problems communicating doesn’t mean you should shut up and go away! Listening does help a lot but never saying anything just winds up hurting you!
Smito, “people of color” is a term that originated with people of color. Which brings us back to #10 – it really doesn’t matter what I think of it as a designation. It is the chosen identifier. And it doesn’t just refer to African-Americans so, yeah, Chinese people are people of color, too.
As for the rest, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. *shrug* This is 101 stuff that the vast majority of everyday people DO NOT GET. I’d love to never have to talk about it again. But that isn’t happening, so….
#6 is so very hard for people – I remember being part of a discussion about how the word “gyp” comes from derogatory stereotypes, and people *refused* to admit that they were perpetuating negative stereotypes by using the word, even when they were perfectly willing to admit where the word came from.
No-one ever wants to admit that they might be wrong, or that they might have made a mistake, and I think that’s the hardest part of relations between groups of people.
“Keep in mind that white people have made an entire history out of finding new cultures and stealing their shit. ”
I strongly agree with this. White people have always had the “power” to take what they want from other cultures. A great current example is the anime-crazed, pasty little geeks who are running around everywhere now. Especially in America, white people have their pick of the pack, whereas minorities seem to be ever-pigeonholed into their culture/perceived culture.
Great entry.
Oh, by the way, I’ve got a kanji tattoo I got when I was 19. I know what it means, and I studied Japanese for some time. I am, however, thinking of getting it removed. But, at least I know what it means and for me it is a reminder of the countless hours I slaved away making flashcards. *laughs*
OMFG yes! Thank you thank you thank you!
This reminds me of my cousin, who normally expresses his narrow-mindedness in subtle ways. One day, though, he really blew my mind when he said, “I think there needs to be more racism against black people to fight their racism against white people.”
What?! Yeah, he was all ticked off at the existence of the NAACP,college funds for black students, and BET. I think it was the Black Stars Awards, or whatever it was called, that really set him off, though. I was flabbergasted. I mean, he’s ticked off because black people own a TV station and help each other pay for college? Oh noes, how will white peeplez ever survive? Don’t worry, my blue-eyed, guitar-playing cousin, for you still have EVERY OTHER MUSIC CHANNEL to play your videos! Bleah! And awards based on race may be exclusionary, but somehow I don’t think Jim Crow and lynchings are the proper response. Grrrr!
Oh, but I’m sure he didn’t mean it “that way”…right? *shudder* I think it just reveals how incredibly ignorant he is about the history of prejudice in this country, not to mention his own privilege. Maybe I should send him a link to this post.
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[...] The Rotund >> 10 Things I Wish Other White People Would “Get” 10. Can we please, white middle-aged dudes especially, get over the idea that anything white people think of how people of color define themselves matters in the greater scheme of things? It isn’t the job of people of color to run their terminology before white people before they use it to reference themselves. It isn’t the job of people of color (or any other oppressed group) to make it easier for you to understand why they are angry (and their anger is justified, you better believe) or why you are not worthy of automatic respect and trust. (tags: beinganally race privilege racism bodypolitics:hair appropriation) [...]