At least, I am on Guitar Hero III.
We acquired Guitar Hero III almost as soon as it came out and have been rocking out ever since. And our friends love it, too. So when we went to a party Saturday (a birthday barbeque for a good friend), it was no real surprise that a competitive Guitar Hero battle broke out. At least, it did once the extra controller showed up.
B was awesome, and he trounced a good number of people. And it reached that point where no one is volunteering to jump up and play.
I certainly wasn’t jumping up and it had nothing to do with my Guitar Hero SKILLZ.
No, I didn’t volunteer to play because, in order to rock out, I’d have had to stand with my back – more importantly, my ASS – to the crowd of people sitting in the living room.
See, I know well and good that my ass is the most sizable thing on my sizable body. And my back area (from back fat to the backs of my knees to the backs of my elbows when my arms aren’t bent) was the last part of my body with which I reached any sort of peace. And I’m pretty fond of my body as a whole at this point but, in a room full of skinny, hip, beautiful people, I was starting to feel a little tense about showing them my rear view.
The crowd, however, would not be appeased! It was my turn to play, dammit! And I found myself, in my pigeon-toed rockstar stance, rocking out with my back turned to the room, facing the tv.
And, you know, I didn’t die. No one said word one about my ass. And I kicked ass at Guitar Hero. We started playing in cooperative mode after that and we all had a blast before we moved back outside for more conversation and hanging out.
There are often little things (in as much as my butt can be described as a little thing *snicker*) that trip us up when we are out and about living confident, fat, and happy lives. Turning my back to an audience…. Who knew I was freaked out about that? I used to be a teacher! I had to write on the board all the time. Why didn’t this kick in at that point?
It’s totally okay to be freaked out about showing some body part or another. The important thing to remember is that, truly, the vast majority of people – especially if you are among friends – aren’t going to notice whatever specific body part is giving you fits. Definitely not to the degree that you do and probably not at all. We are taught to be super self-conscious and police ourselves as fat people, but you don’t have to let that be your guide anymore.
Rock out!
7 Comments
There are often little things (in as much as my butt can be described as a little thing *snicker*) that trip us up when we are out and about living confident, fat, and happy lives.
Totally — and I think a crowd of young hipsters can be among the worst triggers for that.
Oh, SERIOUSLY.
You know, I’m not actually afraid of a lot but a crowd of teenage or young adult males? I STILL find myself trying to minimize the space I take up and the attention I draw to myself if I happen across a group of them unexpectedly.
Which sucks! But they are, in my experience, the group most likely to harass me about my body and confront me directly.
I try to remember to apply to myself something *I* say when people point out their flaws: “I wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t pointed it out.”
Argh, I started looking at the backs of my elbows after reading this. Doh!
I played Guitar Hero III in public for the first time about 6 weeks ago at a street festival here. One of the big box electronic stores had set up a game and a HUGE TV in their booth. My husband and I waited in line for our turn along with a bunch of little 14 year olds.
We cleaned their clocks
.
I’m more self-conscious that I play with the guitar controller hiked way up under my rack o’ doom because it’s the most comfortable position for my wrists. But once I start playing, I kind of forget about it. Until whoever plays after me has to change the guitar strap…
I want to mention, that a majority of gamers will respect anyone no matter what shape,size,color ect, if they have the skills.
You used to be a teacher? I’m feeling nosy (and am a teacher myself, though I haven’t found a position yet so I’ve been subbing) and would like to know why you stopped.