Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I’ll go eat worms,
Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.
Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Let’s talk about the nobody-likes-me-everybody-hates-me-guess-I’ll-go-eat-worms fatty. The fatty who, because of self-hate, fat hate, poor self-esteem, whatev, does the job of the real fat haters for them. The fatty who has so internalized cultural messages about the repulsiveness of fat that s/he polices her/himself according to those standards and looks at other fatties with equal disdain.
I have certainly been that fatty. Chances are, so have you.
The self-policing fatty does a better job of defining what fatties are and are not allowed to do than anyone else ever could.
The self-policing fatty KNOWS that they just can’t do Activity XYZ because they are too fat. And, what’s more, other fatties shouldn’t do it either.
Activity XYZ could be anything from going hiking to wearing a tight dress to being an underpants model.
The self-policing fatty, usually, I think, because of a fear of ridicule, not only doesn’t take such risks but resents that some other fatties do. If we could all just be well-behaved, we’d be a lot safer from the big, fat-hating world.
When I was this fatty, I just wanted reassurance that I wasn’t a slouchy-clothes-wearing, scooter-riding-around-the-store, body-odor fatty. I was just learning that I not be a hideous monster and while I didn’t consider fatties doing any of those things hideous monsters, I knew that mainstream society DID and I didn’t want to be lumped into that category.
It was self-protection, in a way, but it was still bullshit. Because being acceptable to mainstream society by fitting in with their standards isn’t a useful goal. That’s a truly fickle sort of approval anyway, because mainstream society’s tastes shift in the slightest breeze. Now, I don’t care if people think I am that fatty because there is NOTHING FUCKING WRONG with being that fatty.
When Velvet D’Amour walked in the Gaultier show, I saw a lot of responses that criticized her because she opened fat people up to ridicule. But I respected the hell out of that appearance because she DID IT ANYWAY, ridicule be damned.
Julia and LonieMC, in the comments to the previous post, spoke a little bit about the voices we carry over from the dieting mentality. Those voices are probably the hardest thing in the world to kick. They are loud and fucking persistent. And even when you start grooving along with Fat Acceptance, they can intrude.
That is when they are the most dangerous. Because then they can masquerade as being, you know, REASONABLE and REALISTIC and LOGICAL. They can say, “well, it is OBVIOUS that my health is worse because of my fat.” They can say, “I just FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE when I am 50 pounds lighter.” They can say, “Fat is fine, but *I* need to lose weight.”
They can even say, “She is thinner and thus more attractive even though she is fat.” They can insinuate that someone doesn’t belong just because they are on the smaller end of fat. They can whisper that there is a difference between Good Fatties and Bad Fatties and no one wants Bad Fatties around.
Which is, really, all patently false. Don’t trust the diet mentality, even when you have given up dieting.
Which means, truly, flying in the face of that societal ideal. I think it is important to fight for the realization that fatties can be healthy, too, but only because I think that is the most effective way to get health care providers to smarten up and realize health problems really honestly can be caused by something other than fat. *gasp* Totally radical notion, you know? But setting ourselves up as acceptable by mainstream society’s standards, which totally includes our national obsession with health, is a losing game. Politically, I think, FA should be less concerned with “proving” the healthiness of fat and more about the flat-out rejection of that cultural standard in the first place. Personally, I’m still going to practice HAES and talk about it as something that works really well for me, along with Intuitive Eating and whatnot.
That really unlocks a whole ‘nother post, though, about how the personal IS political in this movement especially, but there is still a divide when it comes to the Movement and the Individual.
So, flying in the face of that ideal. That means wearing a bathing suit and realizing that people might make rude comments and wearing it anyway because, despite the risk, it is worthwhile both personally and politically. And while it might suck, personally, to hear those comments, it’s really fucking empowering to learn to not shrink before them.
There are many things I have not done because I am fat – though, as time goes by, there are fewer and fewer of those things. It takes courage to fly in the face of society’s beauty standard, whether you are a size 14, a 24, a 34, or any other size ever, including a size 4. I’d like to think I am inching my way toward that kind of courage.
I’d like to think we all are.
40 Comments
OMG, my grandmother used to sing that song to us if we were feeling sorry for ourselves. I can totally hear her voice now!!
Great post. I totally agree. It helps me to keep from being that policing fatty when I focus on my own experience rather than telling someone else what to do. I don’t always succeed, but it helps.
Amen. It’s a constant fight, but worth it.
This is a fabulous post. It’s kind of scary with your ass hanging out in the wind, but I’m learning that it’s worth it.
I needed this post so badly after witnessing my boyfriend call someone out on their fat hatred and get pounced on by both the fat-is-unhealthy skinny people and the self-policing fatties.
“Politically, I think, FA should be less concerned with “proving” the healthiness of fat and more about the flat-out rejection of that cultural standard in the first place.”
Yes, yes, yes!! Bravo!
That was just beautiful. And true. Which I guess is the same thing.
They can insinuate that someone doesn’t belong just because they are on the smaller end of fat. They can whisper that there is a difference between Good Fatties and Bad Fatties and no one wants Bad Fatties around.
I think this is a really big problem going on in the fat acceptance forums right now. A lot of people are quick to say who is and isn’t “fat enough” to support FA and what it stands for. Also, I’ve found that people just LOVE to mention the amount of vegetables and ‘good’ foods they eat compared to those ‘bad fatties’ they know about. Isn’t that just diet talk backwards?
These things defeat the purpose of what FA is about and really turns people off when they see this kind of crap.
Question (which I hope you don’t find too inflammatory): how do would you compare your views on intentional weight loss (or gain) with other body modifications like tattoos, hair dye, or gender adjustments? Is any act of changing one’s body necessarily rooted in self-hatred at some level, from your point of view?
(I’m just trying to wrap my head around this post in particular, as a self-accepting fat girl who dyes her hair purple and has lots of trans/genderqueer friends.)
Des, I don’t know who the hell you are hanging out with that talks about how much better they are than so-called bad fatties but you probably ought to stop. And if you are talking about online, I don’t know which blogs you are reading.
I talked about, in my personal journal, how stoked I was to discover that I love the hell out of zucchini. And I spoke here about getting fresh fruits and veggies delivered every week and how happy it makes me. Does that mean I am offering commentary on what anyone else eats? Does that mean I am dieting in reverse? I sure as hell don’t think so – because vegetables aren’t diet food. There are no good and bad foods, there is only eating that for which you are hungry. Sometimes it is fried chicken and sometimes it is carrots.
I think that some people who perceive themselves to be Bad Fatties are people who are still carrying around the diet mentality I talked about. The comments I am reading from those fatties are saying that the judgment is coming from within themselves. I can create and atmosphere that is as accepting as possible for as many people as possible, but I can only do so much, you know? I absolutely do not believe in good fatties and bad fatties but I also believe I have every right to talk about discovering whole new food groups independent of diet thinking within the context of FA.
Does that make sense?
Riv, I think that is an interesting question. I don’t think we have ever talked about people who are pursuing weight gain or loss for body mod purposes. I don’t have any tattoos yet, but I am both pierced and a frequent hair dyer, so I am all for body mods as self-expression.
I think where this breaks down for me is that gain or loss outside of a person’s setpoint requires behaviors that, whatever their motivation, fall into self-harm. And I don’t think self-harm is a good thing, you know?
As someone who respects everyone’s right to body autonomy, I have to offer the same basic respect to everyone, no matter what their body decisions are. But I don’t have to agree with it or consider it a good decision, just as no one else has to validate my choice to stop harming myself through dieting behavior.
I am really glad you asked this.
TR, I don’t think Des was referring to you. (I could be wrong.) It’s one thing to discover that you actually like things that are considered “good foods” just because they actually taste good. It’s another thing to trot out how healthy you eat and how much you exercise to prove that you are a good person.
I have never gotten that from your posts. I have seen that in comments on various blogs.
I must not be reading the right comments! I am sure it exists and I am sorry if that wasn’t clear – it is just hard to know where people think that line ought to be drawn. In the end, all of our experiences are both valid and valuable – everyone from vegetarian fatties to people who think they are the worst fatty in the world.
I also come at this from reading the dramaz in Kate’s blog yesterday – where she wrote a post about there not being any good or bad fatties and wound up having to defend her own right to practice and talk about HAES. When it comes to that, I think there is a problem.
But, yes, absolutely, when people are trotting out bullshit about their eating and exercising making them better people? They are full of CRAP.
It’s people I’ve met through blog comments online and the way they later interpret what they’ve read. I like your blog and the things you write about, I don’t mean to offend you.
I’ve had chatted with people and it’s scary how half the time the conversation turns into the whole “good fat, bad fat” argument. Which annoys me to no end.
I think that some people who perceive themselves to be Bad Fatties are people who are still carrying around the diet mentality I talked about.
Yes, exactly! And I think this leads to people just looking for the next thing to tell them what to do. Since they no longer have a diet to strickly dictate what they eat they look for something else to replace it. They see the mere mention of food and automatically categorize it under good or bad. They want FA blogs to tell them what to do. And what I mean when I say backwards diet talk is that all they want to talk about are the foods they eat, like people who are on diets, except instead of portion size they talk about not giving into the stereotypes. But in the end they’re lives revolve around food and giving it a moral value. No one should live their lives trying to be a stereotype but they shouldn’t live their lives desperately trying to become the exact opposite.
And thank you for replying to my comment! I’m glad it wasn’t ignored.
Thank you Tracy! Thats what I was trying to say!
Des, I promise, if you had offended me, I would have flat out said so – I may get excited but it doesn’t generally mean I am offended, truly!
I think BOTH kinds of people may still be falling victim to the diet mentality – people who push their food and exercise habits as though it makes them virtuous and people who take ANY mention of HAES to mean they aren’t welcome. The sword cuts both ways, so to speak. It is easy to feel judged when one is still judging ones self, not matter what the verdict you are reaching, you know?
I think these conversations are important and that we are probably all going to be having them for quite some time to come – some stuff needs to be reiterated and it has been a while since we have gotten back to the Health Is Not A Moral Issue discussion.
And I suck mightily at replying to comments – in part because of my job and in part because – and this is super stupid – I hate that Wordpress doesn’t support Livejournal-style comment threading. I lose track of discussions and then other people say what I was going to say…. Blah blah blah! I am sorry if you have felt ignored in the past!
I am trying to work on responding, even if belatedly.
I don’t mean that they purposely mention how they eat veggies and exercise all the time to show how good they are, but that it comes up as a defense against the whole stereotype about fat people.
Instead of asking why people give a rat’s ass about another’s eating habits, they play into the fat-haters’ hands by offering up such a defense.
I like hearing about how you like veggies and are discovering foods you love and I also like hearing about how much Kate likes yoga. It gives me ideas of things to try. I think one of the issues with HAES is the whole idea of health in the first place. What is healthy for you may be murderous for me, you know?
That is the thing about HAES, though! It is health as an individual and personal thing. It isn’t an arbitrary standard, against which everyone must measure themselves. I hate that sort of “one health fits all” because it is so so so false! Because, yes, absolutely what may be good for me could be murderous for you and vice versa. I said somewhere in one of my other recent posts that health is not a binarism, it isn’t yes healthy, no unhealthy. HAES is right in line with that and it is, overwhelmingly, why I practice HAES in the first place.
As for the other, I think people can only speak FROM their own experiences – so when they align themselves with a mainstream ideal of health it is a reaction to mainstream culture making a lot of assumptions about them that are not true. If someone says something about me that isn’t true, my immediate instinct is to correct them. From a personal perspective, I don’t have a problem with that and I tend to view blog comments as personal statements unless they are, you know, explicitly political. So that is probably why I wasn’t clear on what you were talking about.
Being in some degree of compliance with the mainstream ideal of health does give one some privilege and acknowleging that is important.
Happy I haven’t offended you.
Agree about the lack of livejournal style comment threading, it would make things easier. But I haven’t really been ignored in the past,I just don’t usually comment in the first place because most of the time I’m too scared to say anything. I know, totally pathetic. But today I felt like I had something to say and I said it. Yay for me.
I think all of this is part of a very large conversation that hopefully the whole FA community will be able to unravel little by little as the days go by.
Personally, since I’m pretty new in FA, I’m fascinated with people’s perception of who “should” be in the FA community and why they join in the first place. I think it’s especially interesting in young people. I’ve encountered a phenomenon I like to call “Since I was bad at being thin, I want to be good at being fat!” where teens use FA as if it were a scene (like being a goth/prep/emo), most get caught up in a whole shallow approach to fat acceptance and totally forget the ideas that back it up.
This probably all sounds like crazy talk because you have better things to do, but I see this happening all the time, and I want to understand it and talk about it.
I get you TR. As you said, it’s about the privilege and it’s something that needs to be talked about. I like that this discussion is coming up so that things can be clarified.
I can understand the whole need to dispel stereotypes since I live with so many of them daily. I also can see how they serve the oppressors more than they serve me.
I am glad you spoke up.
It is a HUGE conversation. I think there has to be a less adversarial way to have it – not that it has been adversarial here but, again, I am thinking of how things went at Shapely Prose, you know?
Because I don’t have a huge amount of online time, there are actually a lot of forums I don’t get to see. I read the Fat Feed and write here and help mod Fatshionista, but it leaves me no time for other venues, which sucks. I would love to do this full time! So if you say there are a lot of teens getting involved in FA as if it were a scene, I am honestly surprised by that – it really is news to me! But I don’t doubt you. I am not sure how to handle stuff like that since everyone comes to FA from a different place and progresses at a different pace.
As for who gets to belong? Everyone. As for who counts as fat? I typically go by standard clothing sizes since clothing is a huge axis of oppression for fat people. Who gets to count as an activist? I know activists who have no trouble with WLS or dieting and other activists, like myself, who are VERY politically anti WLS and dieting. I identify and respect the second group and PERSONALLY define them as activists for the FA of which I want to be a part. There are many in the former group that I like and respect and individuals but I have a much harder time identifying them as activists. Does that make sense?
People who read here are every size – from very small to very large and all points in between. I think that diversity is a strength!
And hey, there is no “crazy talk” because I have “better things to do” here. If we don’t talk about this stuff, there is no guarantee that anyone else will either.
Um, why did I not realize that you’re onceupon? That’s what I get for not scrolling down!
I’ve been watching that fatshonista post today.
That is totally me. *grin* I don’t advertise it because it’s my personal journal – I’ve been on lj for YEARS. I just locked it down because of some snarky commentary from an ex-coworker but I really miss posting publicly, too. Bah.
And, yeah, I watched that conversation for as long as I could today – then I had a lot of work to do. I’m just catching up on it now. I think a lot of good stuff was aired – I am interested to see if anything comes of it.
And I need to get back in the habit of posting OotD stuff myself. Right now leaving my house at 7am is KILLING my will to take pictures of my clothes. UGH! And it’s also making it really difficult to start any political discussions because I can’t participate in them. I was SO EXCITED to participate in that post today because it’s been forever, you know?
Thanks so much for answering my questions TR. I’m sure in the future we will see more in depth discussions about these issues and as you mentioned will hopefully be less adversarial.
I’ll be watching the fatosphere very closely <3
Oh, and re: the Shapely Prose discussion, etc. I’ve been watching it with interest. It’s complicated. I’m excited when I see people talking about HAES and new vegetables and yoga and all the fun things that come from paying attention to your body when I’ve spent my whole life trying to ignore mine.
But I also cringe when I sometimes see what someone in the SP discussion called the “who-can-eat-less, I could never eat that much” contest. It makes me more uncomfortable in the fatosphere than it would in the non-FA world, and to be fair I get these feelings from comments, and not from bloggers themselves.
I believe there’s room for everyone. I am so happy that we’re having these discussions about privilege.
I’m going to add you over there. (Hope I didn’t out you!) Oh, and re: OoTDs. I have been SO HAPPY to see the many larger ladies posting today. I was a little disturbed to hear that pics get posted in snark communities, but maybe I will get the courage yet.
You are totally welcome, Des. And, again, I’m glad you spoke up.
Robotitron, I think that game also springs from the same place as the “I only eat healthy and blah blah blah.” And while I haven’t really seen it, it sounds awful. I think the key is to point it out when we see it. With consistency and persistence and also without getting heated. A lot of the stuff that gets repeated on Fats has turned into this battlezone of “who’s PC” and “who’s a rebel” and all this crap when, really, being considerate of other people is a good thing – it broadens our own worldview to consider the experiences of others and to try to understand.
I spent a huge portion of my life pretending like my body didn’t really exist. Learning to communicate with myself has been a really intense ride.
Also, no worries. It crops up from time to time and, honestly, my real name is pretty commonly associated with this blog and it isn’t all that hard to track me down in various places online. I’d be happy to have you add me over there.
Snark communities do exist and while I hate that they exist, there is little we can do about it except learn to ignore it. I’d rather be made fun of because I dress like a crazy ridiculous hot mess kindergarten teacher than sit here in fear of what other people – many of whom never post themselves while offering up a world of judgment – might think. I am not being true to myself if I do that! But it’s a very personal fear – it’s being exposed and being vulnerable and people have to find a way to be comfortable with that (or not) themselves. I have found, for me, the fun of posting OotDs far outweighs the unfun of the occassional snark.
TR, I love this post and I love your whole attitude about fat and HAES. We are coming from different perspectives here as you have probably seen from the dead horse I’ve been beating at SP… but we don’t have to be exactly the same. Your attitude is so health-positive, food-positive, and body-positive. You acknowledge the privilege associated with certain types of eating/exercise and I think that is really the key to me–admitting such privilege does exist. (Just like I know damn well that I enjoy LOADS of privilege as a “smaller” fatty who can “pass” in society and I try never, ever to forget that.) Then we can move on and hopefully discuss fat, politics, food, our bodies, etc. etc. in a positive and fulfilling way. What bothers me is when people sort of refuse to acknowledge that some lifestyles are sometimes unconsciously valued over others as a vestige of the “healthism” that is ubiquitous outside the fatosphere. As you say I have not seen this from actual bloggers, just some comment threads. We don’t all need to be the same by any means, and I wouldn’t want to censor anyone, I just like to see you as an HAES practitioner and light eater (so, someone on the “opposite” side of the spectrum from me in some respects) acknowledge this as an issue and advocate such positive ways to move on from it.
Anyway, bravo.
I’d rather be made fun of because I dress like a crazy ridiculous hot mess kindergarten teacher than sit here in fear of what other people – many of whom never post themselves while offering up a world of judgment – might think.
OMIGOD Amen. A hundred times yes. And I don’t participate in Fatshionista so I’m don’t even know about that, but just YES to this as a general tenet of life.
This may be a dead horse for the rest of the fatosphere but like you’re experiencing now, TR, I don’t get to read and participate as much as I’d like, so I miss stuff. This post helped crystallize something I’d been thinking about for awhile.
Discussions of food are inherently political for us fatties. Because the dominant culture has divided food into “good” and “bad” categories and assigned morality to those categories, it is on us to keep shouting that we don’t use those categories when talking about food. When you say how awesome veggies are, there is no intended connotation of “and I’m finally a good person for eating veggies! *angelic choir*” When you say how awesome cookies are, there is no intended connotation of “I’m being bad for eating these, but I just don’t care! Vive la revolucion!!”
What I’m trying to say is, when we write about food on fat blogs, we are still fat people talking about food, and readers are going to view the post in that context. We have to expect that most people are still going to have those categories in mind — so they’ll hear the angelic choir for veggies, and La Marseillaise for cookies — so we have to keep flying in the face of that connotation by saying THIS PARTICULAR FOOD DOES NOT CHANGE MY MORALITY. And then not be surprised when people spend a lot of time Not Getting It.
I think it’s important for fat people to continue talking about food, to illustrate that there are more categories than the uber-healthy vegetarian and the sedentary boxed-food cook, to illustrate that it is *possible* to simply enjoy veggies without feeling virtuous or to enjoy cookies without feeling guilty.
I’m losing the thread of what I meant, but that’s the meat of it. (Um.) I think a lot of the people who are seeing “good fatty”, “bad fatty”, either in themselves or in others, are still reading some of that food categorization where there was none implied, and they’re reacting to that rather than to what was actually said.
Whenever I hear of the go eat worms song, I’m reminded of a skit on the comedy show Kids in the Hall. These two guys get on a bus, and start singing the eat worms song. Everyone joins in, and they feel ok, so they open up a suitcase and look like they’re literally going to eat worms. Then they get thrown off the bus, and say “It seemed like everyone was ok with it. They were singing along.” lol
Wait, so it’s really hard to stop hating yourself for being fat, but if you can’t/haven’t yet you should be banished from FA? Am I misreading?
That’s more like it.
Beautifully written, thanks for this great post.
Great post. I ate a chocolate bunny last night. No guilt. It was a food choice, like eating carrots is. No more. No less. I’m reading “Never Too Thin”. Today’s society calls most people fat. Even being a ‘normal’ BMI isn’t thin enough. Life is too short to be miserable.
They can insinuate that someone doesn’t belong just because they are on the smaller end of fat.
OMG. Yes. I really needed to hear that today, TR.
In fact, I’ll spare you all the rant that was about to pour forth and simply put it on my blog.
Discussions of food are inherently political for us fatties.
maewyn, I’d say that discussions of food are inherently political for women in general, and fatties in particular. When I was a skinny-minnie, I got food shaming, and continued to get it as I yo-yo dieted my way to fat. But yes, it’s definitely intensified since I left the realm of acceptably thin. My experience, YMMV.
Here’s the rant: http://nightgigjo.wordpress.com/2008/03/21/fa-haes-and-pregnancy/
Yes, glt, you ARE reading it wrong.
The self-hating fatty exists in all of us. It’s not a specific person. It’s a mental construct. We ALL need to banish that frame of mind.
People who are still feeling like that are welcome to read and participate and do whatever they want in FA – I am not the Queen of Fat to proclaim who gets to stay and who has to go, after all. But I DO believe it is in FA’s best interest NOT to encourage such fearful living. If FA is meant as a tool to make lives better, it has to challenge that mindset and approach to living.
Jo, thanks for the link! I am looking forward to reading it.
Jo, we could probably expand it to all people (with the possible exception of adolescent boys with empty-leg syndrome). Men diet, too, and fat men aren’t immune to the scrutiny and shaming that fat women get.
Yes! I wore a bathing suit in Maui even though every fiber of my being screamed at me not to. But dang if it wasn’t awesome in the water and on that soft sand! Worth it!
I still prevent myself form certain activities: amusement park rides (I live 2 miles from a big one), bike riding, sleeveless tops, roller skating (even with tons of peer pressure). Part of it is fear of injury (skating) part is fear of humiliation (”Ma’am, could you get off the ride? You’re breaking it!”). It’s nuts.
reading “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle has made me see that little voice in my head differently and now I understand that the egoic mind thrives on negativity. It’s helped a lot, but I’m by no means “cured.”
But maewyn, and I know it may appear I’m just stirring the pot here, there is a difference between someone like TR who is in many ways an “old pro” at IE, very aware of the political implications of food and fat, and has thought all these issues through very carefully; and a casual commenter on a blog of the kind that I have often seen in the past. I totally believe that TR (and Kate, and lots of other people) do not attach moral value to food to the greatest extent they can possibly avoid doing so, and frequently check themselves to make sure “good/bad” thinking is not creeping in and imparted to their readers. But I’m not just imagining it or projecting self-hatred when I see it in the comment threads. There are plenty of occasions where the responses to posts read like a laundry list of people all of whom are much more “moral” than the average stereotypical thin OR fat person in terms of fresh locally grown organic vegetables, no refined carbs, and exercise, and are all oh-so-eager to point it out and it is clear to an “outsider” that part of the reason is because they want some kind of thin people credit or absolution for being fat since they aren’t acting “like a fat person.” Or people call various foods “crap” or act like certain foods are objectively too huge to consume or bad or symbolic somehow of ignorant mainstream society. If we truly mean “food is not a moral issue” or “there’s no such thing as a bad fatty,” then IMO it is not helpful if I see situations where people are making good/bad distinctions and am then told that it’s my problem because the posters couldn’t possibly have meant that. Maybe they didn’t, consciously, but often they are clinging to vestiges of “I’m OK if I do this but not if I do this.”
As I said at SP, it is so complicated because the idea that people have a safe space to talk about all the things they do that thin people assume they don’t (like exercise, like eating a traditionally “healthy” diet) is both radical and awesome. So I wouldn’t want that to be interfered with. But that doesn’t mean that this type of discussion doesn’t sometimes take a moralistic tone, even if it is not overt. I would be OK with being told that this is rare or that it’s probably not a big deal in the scheme of things or that people are working on it and it’s getting better. I would even be OK with being told, sorry, Blog A is very HAES focused and we believe some behaviors are better choices than others so we are going to let the moral connotations slide in service of that. What I don’t like is being told that an underlying “good/bad” mentality doesn’t exist or at least crop up from time to time–and here’s the kicker, without opposition from the blog authors, most of whom are quite traditionally “healthy” themselves and therefore maybe less likely to notice despite personal efforts not to buy into good/bad–because it does. Whether that is really a problem is up to the individual bloggers but either way, it does exist.
At some point I feel like I’m splitting an insignificant hair here and making this the main focus of my own personal FA philosophy, and that is really untrue–. I just view it as a little sticking point that I am glad we’re all discussing (and I especially loved the way TR covered it here, assigning it proper “weight,” har har, without pretending it doesn’t exist) and which I prefer not to let go of entirely while some people still are denying it exists. Of course the main point is still that fat discrimination is always wrong.
I wasted ten years of my life not doing so many things because “I’ll do that after I loose weight…” I wouldn’t even buy nice clothes and I dressed like a total slob ~ like a good ugly fattie following the rules! Thank GOD I found blogs like yours and read the book, “The Obesity Myth” because I was finally SET FREE!! Now, I love myself for the beautiful creation of God that I am ~ and I no longer disrespect my Creator by hating what He created!! (Totally pointless waste of time.) As I write I’m awaiting the arrival of a box of beautiful dresses that I hired a seamstres to sew so that they would fit me. I can’t wait to dress beautifully without shame!! HAPPY EASTER!!!
I really needed to read this today. Thanks.