So, I was catching up on Shakesville, since I can’t read blogs at work and am DEAD when I get home, and I read this fantastic entry re: Girl Scout Cookies.

And then I read the comments.

I am going to let you all in on a little-known fact.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES ARE NOT GOING TO ATTACK AND EAT YOU.

Girl Scout cookies are inanimate objects. They are a food. They are not DANGEROUS. They will not explode. They will not make your pants too small just by being in the same room with you. They will not make you a bad person for indulging or even over-indulging in them. They will not suck your life force from your body and leave you an empty shell of a person. They will not make you sell your possessions and skip paying your bills out of addiction.

THEY ARE JUST COOKIES.

Mighty delicious cookies, BRILLIANTLY marketed and made even more desirable because they are available for a limited time only.

But they are still just cookies.

If a cookie has so much power over you that you flee from Girl Scouts in terror, you might want to examine your relationship with the cookie. Just keep reminding yourself, the cookie is an inanimate object and, as such, has no inherent power over you.

This is one situation in which I think people freak out and eat more than they planned as an overreaction to deprivation. Meanwhile, because I’m allowed to have a fucking cookie whenever I want, I’ve had the same box of Thin Mints in my freezer since LAST Girl Scout cookie season. I only eat them with vanilla ice cream and only when that is what I really want.

They are just cookies.

Unless they are Girl Scout cookies made of nitro, or something, in which case they should be handled with caution. I’d hate for anyone to blow themselves up in a tragic nitro-cookie accident.


This entry was posted in Food. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

30 Comments

  1. KarenElhyam
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 6:05 pm | Permalink

    To some extent, I think you sort of answer the question “Why do people let cookies, inanimate objects, hold so much power over them?”

    Because if they weren’t special/rare/bad/naught/sinful, they wouldn’t be so fun! I know ssssssoooooooooooooooo many people who on any other day are dieting obsessed and yet as soon as they get a box of Girl Scout cookies in their hand, it’s like heaven has smiled upon them.

    Finally, they can allow themselves to eat cookies! Finally, the blessed season has come. Finally, it’s okay if I sin, because they’re Girl Scout cookies! Hooray!

    That’s just it, though. They aren’t special. They are JUST cookies. They aren’t any more delicious, necessarily, than other cookies, they just hold greater power because of their specialness.

    Thing is…I’m not sure if that’s bad or good. I would lean toward bad, because why shouldn’t all food be as exciting to us? Why shouldn’t we be excited just to eat and enjoy and nourish ourselves? Why do we torture ourself just to earn that small priviledge of cookies?

    I know, that was kind of rambling, but Girl Scout cookies do that to me. They make me contemplative. ^^

  2. KarenElhyam
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 6:05 pm | Permalink

    To some extent, I think you sort of answer the question “Why do people let cookies, inanimate objects, hold so much power over them?”

    Because if they weren’t special/rare/bad/naught/sinful, they wouldn’t be so fun! I know ssssssoooooooooooooooo many people who on any other day are dieting obsessed and yet as soon as they get a box of Girl Scout cookies in their hand, it’s like heaven has smiled upon them.

    Finally, they can allow themselves to eat cookies! Finally, the blessed season has come. Finally, it’s okay if I sin, because they’re Girl Scout cookies! Hooray!

    That’s just it, though. They aren’t special. They are JUST cookies. They aren’t any more delicious, necessarily, than other cookies, they just hold greater power because of their specialness.

    Thing is…I’m not sure if that’s bad or good. I would lean toward bad, because why shouldn’t all food be as exciting to us? Why shouldn’t we be excited just to eat and enjoy and nourish ourselves? Why do we torture ourself just to earn that small priviledge of cookies?

    I know, that was kind of rambling, but Girl Scout cookies do that to me. They make me contemplative. ^^

  3. Posted March 6, 2008 at 7:36 pm | Permalink

    You know (and I say this as someone who believes in intuitive eating), certain types of food feeling subversive does add pleasure. It’s like Victorian sex. I mean, that must have been the best thing ever.

  4. Posted March 6, 2008 at 7:48 pm | Permalink

    Brilliant post. When I was regaining after my ED, I did, and would, eat everything in site. It didn’t even have to be tasty. Ice cream, saltines, tuna out of the can, cottage cheese, steak, macaroni salad, tomato soup—didn’t last too long.

    However, once I’d gained back a certain amount of weight, snack foods started gathering dust, and sometimes I wouldn’t even have a full plate of food for dinner, I’d just skip to cookies (usually not finishing however many I took) and milk and go to bed! LOL

    I think “Girl Scout Cookie Time” is like Thanksgiving and Christmas to many people. Bright spots in a food-deprived year, and as such they’d go nuts and eat the whole damn box. When my brother and I were younger, we used to hork down GS cookies as soon as they hit the countertop (my mom fed us bland, low-cal food that was supposed to control our weight but didn’t).

    Last season we ended up throwing away a couple half-boxes because they got stale. The only regret I have is that we threw away food that could have been frozen, which is wasteful. :)

  5. Becky
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 7:57 pm | Permalink

    Oh, lord. I’m a Brownie leader, so I help the girls sell cookies. And you would not BELIEVE how many women look at the cookies and say: “Oh, I probably shouldn’t” or: “I can’t, I’m on a diet” or some derivation of how “bad” they are for getting the cookies. It’s one box of cookies once a year! It’s not going to kill you!

  6. AnnieMcPhee
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 8:11 pm | Permalink

    Slightly different secret – Keebler ELF (Everybody Loves Fudge) grasshopper cookies taste better than Thin Mints. There. I actually said it. I thought they’d sotpped making them (and I think they had for some years) but when girl scout time rolled around (and I couldn’t find a girl scout anywhere to get my Thin Mint fix) I bought several boxes of Grasshoppers – and yes, I ate them like they were going out of style. So far as I know, they might be. Then my husband found a girl scout and bought me some Thin Mints anyway lol. Still delicious, but I like the Grasshoppers better – richer, darker chocolate, less waxy. Oh well.

    Hey, Becky – I’d never buy just one box – unless I were really strapped for money hehe.

  7. Karen
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 9:22 pm | Permalink

    I deny that there could possibly be any better a cookie than a Thin Mint. They are my favorite cookies ever. And I so rarely even want any cookie that, even though I overindulge and BUY like five boxes, everyone else gets more than me. But the point is that I had my Thin Mints. They’re like a special little treat, like Thanksgiving turkey. Mmmmmmmmmm, Thin Mints . . . .

    And, y’know, I’ve never gain a pound off of them. Even when I’d eat a whole box in a few days because I was fresh out of my parents’ house (where there were dessert rules about eating dinner first) and mmmm, Thin Mints.

  8. Posted March 6, 2008 at 9:35 pm | Permalink

    I seriously heart me some Thin Mints, but this reminds me of something that happened a few weeks ago: I walked out of the grocery store and these young kids (prolly between 8 and 12) were selling candy bars for their baseball team. They asked me if I wanted one, and, welp, I didn’t really feel like a candy bar (because I am a grownup and I can buy them whenever I want, and I do). But I said, “Hey, y’know, not really, but here’s a dollar anyway. Good luck making money!” An older woman saw and heard what I did and gushed, “WOW, that takes a lot of self-discipline!” I tossed over my shoulder, “Nah, I have plenty of candy at home.”

    It made me sad that someone thought, number one, that all women who refuse candy bars have Great Skill rather than Freedom to Choose, and number two, that it was my refusal of a candy bar that was notable when the really cool thing I just did was gave a kid a dollar without demanding the merchandise. Some people.

  9. littlem
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 9:41 pm | Permalink

    Phledge, I heart you for giving a dollar and taking no candy. (That’s more candy for the folks who have none at home.) I thought I was the only weirdo that did that. But you know I am one of your fans anyway.

    I have misty memories of shortbread and thin mint sales. I think I relish the memories more than the cookies.

    But OT, I think there is a lot to the unyielding restraint and snapback theory. Why not just have some Girl Scout Cookies in your freezer, all the time? Then you can have/not have them whenever you want.

    Also, then you don’t have to give the Girl Scouts ALL your money (as it is easy to do when they have overrun your neighborhood) because you can say “I already bought mine!”

    Also, Thin Mints, from what I recall, taste best frozen anyway. It’s like a Peppermint Patty “get the sensation” commercial.

  10. AnnieMcPhee
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 9:50 pm | Permalink

    Well, Karen, if you can find the Grasshoppers (it was a special display – I thought they might have deliberately brought them back just because it was Thin Mint season lol) at least give ‘em a try. Then you won’t feel deprived after your boxes are gone and you have to wait ’til next year. You can still think GS cookies are best :)

    Of course, now I’m going to freeze my last box – thanks littlem.

    Phledge – I think it’s sad that she probably deprives herself so much that she thinks it’s the height of discipline to turn down a candy bar – your retort? Was hilarious! Hehehe.

  11. RoseCampion
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 10:10 pm | Permalink

    I’m a GS leader too, though for Cadettes and Seniors. And it is cookie season here.

    Here’s how I cured my fear of GS cookies. One year, about five years back, I bought a whole freaking case of Thin Mints. I ate as many as I wanted for as long as I wanted. By the time I was finished with the fourth box, I was pretty much done with Thin Mints. Not for good, but I’ve never again sat down and ate a whole box at once. Or even more than like six or seven cookies at once. I ended up giving away the rest of the case.

    On the otherhand, I have a friend who often buys a whole case from me, but she squirrels them away and makes it last the whole year. One year, she bought the case only on the condition that I would keep them in my house and parcel them out to her one sleeve of cookies at a time and only when she’d been “good” enough. That was kind of irritating, but you know, she’s a pretty good friend. I just think its sad that she doesn’t trust herself to stop, that she is, indeed, afraid. Probably not of the cookies so much as of herself and her appetite. She is scared that if she let herself, she’d sit down and eat the whole world. Or at least the whole case.

  12. spacedcowgirl
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 10:51 pm | Permalink

    The Rotund, this is so true and so funny. In many people’s minds GS cookies seem to have all the sinister power of the Good Times Virus. :)

    On a related note, Grasshoppers are NOT better than Thin Mints! :P And I have eaten so many of both over the years that I consider myself qualified to make that statement. :) True story, the first time I tried to experiment with intuitive eating, I was in high school and didn’t really have the ability to dictate my own “food environment.” So the part where you stock up on your favorite foods was a little challenging. I could only pick a few things, which I hid in my closet, to sort-of stock up on. I decided that Thin Mints were a non-negotiable stock-up item, though, because I loved them so much. Unfortunately it was not GS Cookie season and I got Grasshoppers instead, thinking they would be the same. But I could really tell the difference! It was frustrating, I tell ya. Anyway, it’s interesting and kind of cool how one person can strongly prefer one item, and another can strongly prefer another almost identical item.

  13. Posted March 6, 2008 at 11:02 pm | Permalink

    I haven’t been able to track down any Girl Guide cookies around here, but I’m thinking a box of those fudge-covered minty Oreos might be in order. Mmm…minty…..

    All this by way of saying that your blog’s been making me so hungry lately.

  14. Godless Heathen
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 11:25 pm | Permalink

    Ooh, now I have to track down ELF grasshoppers. Every once in a while I crave Thin Mints and it’s soooooo hard to find a good substitute for the real thing when it’s not Girl Scout Cookie season. They keep changing the cookie names, but I adore those peanut butter filled ones too. They are just cookies, but some of them are pretty hard to find a generic stand-in for. I can see eating an entire box of your favorite flavor if you only get to have it once a year, especially if you repeatedly deny yourself treats. I wouldn’t call that “dangerous” though, it’s not like they explode.

  15. wellroundedtype2
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 11:47 pm | Permalink

    I was a girl scout for many years and despite the fact that I’ve eaten many a box I never tire of thin mints.
    I remember selling them, and what I would love to tell the Girl Scouts of today is: The cookies sell themselves. People buy them because they are good. It’s not really how you ask (although it helps to be polite and not snotty) but rather THAT you ask. If someone wants cookies, they will buy them. If not, they won’t.
    People who have a fear of them but buy them anyhow, well, that’s not the girl scouts fault. There are many similar cookies on the store shelves.

  16. Jackie
    Posted March 7, 2008 at 12:10 am | Permalink

    Great post! If you want to talk about people in terror of cookies, Sesame Street. It’s against nature to make the Cookie Monster not eat cookies. It’s WRONG!

    Your comment about the cookies not being made from nitro reminded me of a great scene in the first Addams Family film

    Wenesday and Pugsley were at a lemonade stand, and this obnoxious Girl Scout came up and said “Is that lemonade made with real lemons, cause I don’t drink lemonade without real lemons!”

    Wenesday just looked at her and said, “Are those Girl Scout cookies made from real Girl Scouts?” LoL

    BTW, on the subject of Nitro, I think there actually was some put into the lemonade.

  17. AnnieMcPhee
    Posted March 7, 2008 at 12:23 am | Permalink

    Just for the record, spaced, I don’t strongly prefer the Grasshoppers – just very slightly. All in all either would satisfy me when I’m in the mood for that flavor.

    Jackie – you know what always – seriously, and I know how dumb this might sound, but it *always* frustrated me that when the cookie monster would start chomping up the cookies (nom nom nom) I could see, and I *knew* (because he’s, you know, a puppet and has no throat) that none of it was going down. All he was doing was chopping them to bits but he never got the satisfaction of swallowing any of the delicious cookies. LOL – but then again I used to get seriously furious when Snuffalupagus would disappear before anyone but Big Bird would see him, too. I was way too logical for kids’ shows or something. “But why doesn’t he/she just…?” Gah.

  18. Posted March 7, 2008 at 12:49 am | Permalink

    I won the prize for selling the most Girl Scout cookies in my troop two years running.

    Now I buy Girl Scout cookies no matter how broke I am…though if I’m flush I definitely buy more. I freeze my Thin Mints and gobble down the Tagalongs right away.

    Guilt? Nah. Guilt is for those who aren’t allowed to eat an entire box of Tagalongs in one sitting if they so choose.

    Of course, bilious can still happen, but every year I seem to consider it worth it for that one box of cookies.

    The rest of the time? I have no great desire to make myself ill. As Karen said, I think it’s like Thanksgiving. I know I’m not going to run out of food, but that couple of days of overstuffing have become traditions that I choose to continue to honor.

    Not overstuffing myself the other 363 days of the year are that much better when compared to the two days out of the year when I deliberately eat too much.

    Yes, it’s silly. But I’m down with the silly of it. It’s a choice, and one I’ll probably keep on making at least for a while. But there’s no way I’m going to play the ‘oh I’m so BAD for doing this’ game. That is something I have no use for. Get the cookies or don’t get the cookies. Eat the cookies all at once or eat them two at a time. As you say, The Rotund, the cookie isn’t forcing anyone.

    But now I have an image in my head of a cookie holding a gun to someone’s head and deamanding ‘Eat Me!’

  19. Posted March 7, 2008 at 1:18 am | Permalink

    I delighted my neighborhood Brownie by buying nine boxes of various cookies this year. Because I finally have the money, and dammit, Samoas are awesome.

    Also, FYI: the new lemon chalet cookies are GREAT. I am very sorry I only got one box.

    I have some Do-si-dos next to the computer right now. (They haven’t attacked me yet.)

  20. AnnieMcPhee
    Posted March 7, 2008 at 2:44 am | Permalink

    I was just gonna say, Naamah, after your first sentence, that you ought to bring the cookies, set them out in the communal kitchen area (open and on a plate) to sabotage the diets of all the WW crowd lol. They can countersabotage by bringing us fresh fruit! Yay! Hehe.

  21. spacedcowgirl
    Posted March 7, 2008 at 3:26 am | Permalink

    Aha, I guess it is just me who has weird strong opinions on chocolate-covered mint cookies, Annie. I am crazy but then we knew that. :)

    Twistie, I wanted to say that I really like your attitude toward the GS cookies.

    Incidentally, lest any of us (me) think that only fatties like myself overeat GS cookies, I will report that my thin friend and I bonded over the concept of eating Thin Mints “by the sleeve.” :) Meanwhile his (somewhat fatter) wife looked on in horror–I don’t think she’s wired that way and is more of a “eat one or two at a time” type. It takes all kinds of us, I guess.

  22. spacedcowgirl
    Posted March 7, 2008 at 3:29 am | Permalink

    Oh, and I forgot to say, Naamah–the Samoas are a cruel cookie because they are so awesome (my second favorite after TMs) but they’re down to, what, 3 cookies in a box now? You really have to buy 9 boxes to get an appreciable amount of cookies. If the Girl Scouts weren’t a nonprofit I would speculate that they were turning a tidy profit on Samoas alone. :)

    Somehow I missed the whole Girl Scout cookie… thing… this year. I never saw an order form, but all of a sudden little kids in church are delivering cookies to people. I wanted cookies too, dammit!

  23. Posted March 7, 2008 at 5:06 am | Permalink

    things were never the same after lemon pastry cremes were discontinued. (sigh….)

    also, people should enjoy these cookies if only out of deference to those of us who don’t live in the united states anymore … i’m going to e-mail mommy dearest and ask her to send me some.

  24. Mindy
    Posted March 7, 2008 at 7:55 am | Permalink

    But they aren’t made of real girl scouts so what is the point? they don’t count in the fat baby eating department because of this so I can’t eat em ;)

  25. Posted March 7, 2008 at 9:45 am | Permalink

    How to make your own Samoas. There’s also a recipe for Thin Mints on the same blog.

  26. Violet
    Posted March 8, 2008 at 8:34 pm | Permalink

    I just bought some of their new cinnamon spin cookies, and they’re delicious. But they come in ’100 calorie packs’, so they can effectively give you less cookie for the same amount. Et tu, Girl Scouts?

    Also, the original flavors don’t taste nearly as good as when I used to sell them x years ago. Basically the two boxes I bought 2 years ago rotted in the pantry after I tried maybe 5 of them and my inner Junior was like WTF, this is not what I remember.

  27. Jackie
    Posted March 9, 2008 at 12:32 am | Permalink

    AnnieMcPhee, I understand what you’re saying. I was a kid who got the concept of fake and real early on. I mean, of course I went through the “We’re going to Disneyworld and meeting Mickey Mouse!” phase. However, I did catch on to things pretty quickly.

    Since I went on the Earthquake ride at Universal Studios, where they have a pre-show discussing how blue-screen works in movies. I’ve been interested in film effects. I’m usually the person who if someone gets afraid from a horror film, I can explain it’s completely fake and how they did it. I find that knowing it’s fake helps.

    Really if you think about it, with the contraversy surrounding horror films. Alot of them are like Shakespear. Alot of his plays aside from Romeo & Juliet were pretty gruesome and gorey, like Hamlet.

    I think having a ability to figure out what’s real and fake early in life, while it might bring out disillusionment with the world you thought you knew. Is better for you. I mean, there are adults out there who can’t tell fantasy from reality. They think violent video games cause violence. Like, what’s on the TV screen isn’t real, it’s a computer and fake blood.

    The same with people who get hysterical over horror films, and “Torture Porn”. I would not reccomend this to, well almost anyone, to read. I read the 120 Days of Sado online by the Marquis De Sade. I’m rather well desensitized to most things, and even I found myself offended by some of the acts that took place in the story. So I’m just saying, you don’t want to read it. However, what I found fascinating is that the tortures discussed in the story, were no different than what’s in the Saw films, or Hostel. It’s not like people thought of sick stuff for entertainment at the start of the 20th century. I think it would help if people just regarded horror films, the same way they would regard a play by Shakespear.

    I’m not saying that horror films match up to the genius of Shakespear in any means, but I am saying if hearing about people being murdered in Hamlet doesn’t freak you the heck out, why should a horror film which is essentially a play freak you out with the same issue.

  28. Feral
    Posted March 10, 2008 at 2:38 pm | Permalink

    once, a box of them fell out of the top of the freezer and hit me in the head, so yes, technically I have been attacked by Girl Scout cookies – though I just put the box back in the fridge – not too big on sweets around here and I suspect the bf counts them…. so that no one steals ‘em!

  29. Posted March 11, 2008 at 10:08 am | Permalink

    You hit the nail on the head…Girl Scouts capitalize on the deprivation factor.

    Although, I do think that there might be something subliminal about thin mints. It’s probably just the chocolate though.

  30. Posted March 12, 2008 at 12:04 am | Permalink

    We never get them. I probably haven’t had a GSC in about ten years. It’s not because they aren’t good. It’s not because I’m afraid of overeating them or having them attack or explode or whatever. The problem with GSC (or girl guide) is that they are so damn popular and they don’t make enough of them. I haven’t been able to get any, short of kidnapping a Brownie to get some. They are like friggin gold up here.

One Trackback

  1. By Body by God: In the Beginning « Ad Imaginem Dei on March 12, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    [...] a while, since my last Body by God post, and fueled by conversation in the fatosphere about Girl Scout Cookies, and by Rachel’s [...]

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>