So, I was catching up on Shakesville, since I can’t read blogs at work and am DEAD when I get home, and I read this fantastic entry re: Girl Scout Cookies.
And then I read the comments.
I am going to let you all in on a little-known fact.
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES ARE NOT GOING TO ATTACK AND EAT YOU.
Girl Scout cookies are inanimate objects. They are a food. They are not DANGEROUS. They will not explode. They will not make your pants too small just by being in the same room with you. They will not make you a bad person for indulging or even over-indulging in them. They will not suck your life force from your body and leave you an empty shell of a person. They will not make you sell your possessions and skip paying your bills out of addiction.
THEY ARE JUST COOKIES.
Mighty delicious cookies, BRILLIANTLY marketed and made even more desirable because they are available for a limited time only.
But they are still just cookies.
If a cookie has so much power over you that you flee from Girl Scouts in terror, you might want to examine your relationship with the cookie. Just keep reminding yourself, the cookie is an inanimate object and, as such, has no inherent power over you.
This is one situation in which I think people freak out and eat more than they planned as an overreaction to deprivation. Meanwhile, because I’m allowed to have a fucking cookie whenever I want, I’ve had the same box of Thin Mints in my freezer since LAST Girl Scout cookie season. I only eat them with vanilla ice cream and only when that is what I really want.
They are just cookies.
Unless they are Girl Scout cookies made of nitro, or something, in which case they should be handled with caution. I’d hate for anyone to blow themselves up in a tragic nitro-cookie accident.
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