Since there seems to be some question, I want to offer up a quick reference for Intuitive Eating.
What is Intuitive Eating?
Intuitive Eating is, in its simplest form, eating what you want to eat when you are hungry. The most revolutionary thing it means, from the standpoint of our diet culture, is that there is no such thing as Good Food and Bad Food. There is just food. While THIS SITE is kind of new agey froo-froo with pictures of flowers and whatnot, it’s good intro to the concept. In fact, I will quote my favorite part of their site:
1. Reject the Diet Mentality Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.
Get angry, people!
What if I only want to eat bad things?
Well, see again: There is no such thing as Good Food and Bad Food. One of the tricky things about transitioning to Intuitive Eating is that you might just go a little nuts from the freedom initially. Once the Twizzlers are not off-limits, you may very well want to eat nothing but Twizzlers.
This is because there is nothing more delicious than the forbidden. But you’ll get over it. Ride it out and eat what you want when you are hungry for it. There is no set time limit for this process.
Also, Intuitive Eating does not mean you will never want junk food. For about a week, recently, the only thing I wanted to eat was sharp cheddar cheese and chocolate with almonds. I am having to wonder if I need a calcium supplement or something (I’ve pretty much entirely cut dairy out of my food options, what with being allergic to cow milk). And sometimes I really just can’t live without Double Stuff Oreos.
But I also can’t live without cherry tomatoes and apples and spinach tossed with olive oil and pine nuts in fresh pasta.
What if I never know what I want to eat?”
This is, once you commit to it, one of the hardest parts of Intuitive Eating. Sometimes you are super clear that you want beef teriyaki and you want it NOW. But other times you know you’re hungry and you should eat and…..
At that point you have to stop playing What Do I Want To Eat. It is okay not to figure it out every damn time. The important thing in these moments is to know that you are hungry and to eat something. You aren’t a toddler who has to be coaxed to eat by your favorite foods. Eat something simple, something you know will satisfy you. Maybe you’ll realize half-way through that what you really wanted was something else entirely. You’ll learn from that and take it into account next time you are hungry.
What if I don’t get hungry?
I was – and sometimes still am – the worst about this. At the height of my disordered eating, I’d skip meals for days because I just didn’t feel hungry. The thought of food made me ill. OF COURSE IT DID! I’d been starving myself and introducing typical college food to my system was a recipe for intestinal distress.
When you begin to eat on a regular basis, your body begins to expect food. I know when I’ve gone too long without eating now because my body throws a damn fit. I get headachey and grumpy. It is harder to think. I COULD push past that, sure, but why would I want to?
***
You know, I’m not going to make the absolute statement that Intuitive Eating is the right choice for everyone. I’m just not that much of an absolutist. But I DO think it is something that deserves a try, a real and honest effort. It is one way to go about making your body your friend and ally instead of your enemy.
I got a letter, this past weekend, from a concerned reader. She had quit smoking, and that was SO MUCH BETTER than being a smoker. If only I’d quit being fat, I’d be healthier and happier. And my loved ones wouldn’t have to worry about me dropping dead.
I really am just summing things up, here. The letter itself was heartfelt and very polite, though it did, as so many letters from concerns trolls do, conflate being fat with overeating.
But the letter ignores a basic truth of life: You can give up smoking but you can’t give up eating. Not if you want to stay alive.
Given the choice between dieting – which is societally endorsed disordered eating – and Intuitive Eating, my choice is very, very clear.
30 Comments
Thank you.
*runs off to check out the link*
Thank you for this! The idea of IE is scary. We’ve been taught our whole lives to not trust our bodies; to not trust our instincts; to not trust that we know what we need. So the idea of giving ourselves free reign over something as important as food can be terrifying! I know it is for me. I worry sometimes that I’ll eat everything on the planet or want to live on McDonalds. But I know that isn’t true. Thank you for the reminder that my body knows what it needs…all I have to do is be willing to listen.
Okay, I am intrigued by the Intuitive Eating concept. It makes a lot of sense, but I wondered how you deal with variety. What I mean by that is, if you’re going off what your body is craving, aren’t you limited to only stuff you’ve eaten? Can your body crave something it’s never had before? (That’s not sarcasm. I’m seriously asking because you seem to be experienced on the subject).
As for your concerned troll, and all fat hating trolls everywhere, I’d just like to say that fat does not equal unhealthy anymore than being skinny equals healthy.
If I eat the same meals and portions as you and happen to be 20 pounds heavier, are you healthier than I am? No. If I starve myself or try some ludicris diet (South Beach, Cleansing, Grapefruit) to lose that 20 pounds it’s not going to make me any healthier. Skinnier in the short run maybe, but not healthier and not happier.
I know everyone assumes that fat people must sit around eating cookies and ice cream 24/7 to gain all that weight, but some people just have slower metabolisms. I try to give skinny people the benefit of the doubt and not assume they starve themselves to get that way, why can’t I have the same consideration?
It can be truly terrifying, Heidi. I have those fears sometimes still – especially when I am at the grocery store and all I want is to buy Pringles and Oreos and ice cream.
But then I get home and have three or four cookies and don’t even open the Pringles or the Oreos. And I know part of that is still the fear that I will never be allowed to eat Pringles again! Which is ridiculous. If I want to eat a whole can of Pringles’ that is my right as a self-sufficient human being who is buying my own damn Pringles.
Diana D, I actually meant to address that very question! I can’t believe I forgot!
I try new things when they are there. Other people seek out new things on a really frequent basis. I think this is where your personal comfort level comes into play – and pushing those comfort boundaries.
I also know that when foods stopped being Good and Bad, I was a lot more interested in trying foods that had previously seemed unappealing because they were “virtuous” – though I don’t think I will ever bring myself to try cottage cheese by itself. *shudder*
Picking EXACTLY what I want to eat is easy for me (and I somehow always end up with a balanced and varied diet). My biggest problem is hunger… not lack of it, too much of it. I feel like I’m hungry ALL THE TIME but I’m too afraid to eat ALL THE TIME so I am, in a way, restricting myself. Which is never a good thing…
A strange side effect of always going out to eat growing up was that I’ve pretty much always practiced intuitive eating. I always got to order my own food and even fight for the restaurant of my choice!
Anyway, I have my own personal experience to offer up to Diana D. My dad always made me try new foods using this line “What if it’s your favorite thing? You’ll never know until you try!” So I have pretty much always tried new foods. As expected, sometimes I hated them, sometimes I didn’t.
Btu something strange started happening as I got older (and still happens to this day). Every once in a while, I would get a CRAVING LIKE NONE OTHER for something on my list of foods that I hated. The first time I really remember this happening one time when they had salmon in my school cafeteria and I just HAD TO HAVE IT despite that fact that it was, well, school cafeteria salmon and I didn’t even like good restaurant salmon to begin with. Needless to say, the salmon was delish and just what I wanted and now I love it.
So that’s what works/happens for me. Best of luck to you in your own eating adventures!
Maybe it’s also important to remember that your body doesn’t just crave whole foods (as in “Pasta Alfredo” or “Strawberry Cheesecake”) but can also crave flavors or textures. Salty, tangy, sweet, etc. That’s how I’ve learned to like new foods…I am a bit of a foodie, so even if it’s food I’ve never ever tried before, just knowing its components give me a bit of insight into what it will taste like. That allows me to flip through recipe books and browse the internet until I find recipes to satiate my craving for, say, spicy tomato sauce, or a really light, tangy…something!
So, on top of intuitive eating in more general terms, I think it definitely pays to be more aware of what foods are made of. Even if you don’t cook, this can still help anybody with food shopping or eating out at a restaurant!
I was doing well on intuitive eating until I started a new medication that basically turned off my hunger indicator. I make sure I eat on a schedule to combat that.
I am finding that once I start eating, I do better, and I am leaning towards heavy proteins at the moment. I had the flu a couple weeks before the new med, and I found myself eating sugar and drinking juice. I normally don’t like sweets- they taste wrong to me. I was complaining that I was pigging out on candy, and my boyfriend pointed out that when I worked in emergency situations we would give people who just went through a traumatic experience chocolate bars. When your body is struggling, sometimes it needs quick accessible energy.
Although, Friday night I had a restaurant meal that came with grilled asparagus, and one bite of the asparagus and I realized I should have just ordered a plate of it.
Ahh!!
Thank you so much for posting this!!!
I’ve just started getting into intuitive eating and I have been really confused about the whole thing.
I’ve been eating marshmallows for two days and I was feeling horrible about it. Now I know its about the whole “forbidden fruit” (or forbidden marshmallows in this case) and wanting what you can’t have.
I love your blog because you keep things so straightforward and simple.
Huh. Now I have a word to put with what I’ve been doing for the last year or so. Cool.
I would like to add that sometimes when practicing intuitive eating it helps to not be fearful of wasting things. I grew up with the “eat everything on your plate” mentality, which is something I have had to fight. For example, I made squash last night because it is what I had planned for dinner. After about an hour and a half, the squash was finally done, and it just didn’t taste that good. It was then I realized that I didn’t want squash, I wanted peas! I found some peas in the freezer, and ate those with dinner instead. The squash went into the fridge for another night, but if I don’t get to it before it gets bad, I’m not gonna worry about it.
I still have issues with ‘But I’m Not Hungry’. Not because I’ve been a big dieter so much as really, I’m just not hungry. However, sometimes I know that it’s been too long, and that I might be really hungry but just not realize it? Does that sound weird? Because sometimes I say ‘not hungry!’ and then 10 minutes later I’m practically rummaging through the garbage looking for something to eat. Not really sure what’s up with that.
Yesterday’s IE consisted of ‘Need Chocolate Pudding’, and I successfully managed to ignore my mother’s idea that ‘maybe x, y, or z will do instead’, and got my organic, locally sourced (I know, it surprised me, too!) chocolate pudding instead.
And found it damned satisfying.
Orodemniades, that hunger thing was one of my big hang ups, too. I had dieted then binged for so long, I didn’t have a clue what being hungry felt like. I think it takes conscious practice to figure out.
For me, I start getting thoughts running through my head of food. I’ve learned that I have about 30 minutes at that point to prepare whatever it is my head is telling me it wants. Because about 25-35 minutes later, I am suddenly RAVENOUS. No build up — just suddenly starving. Happens every time.
It took me about a year to figure this out, though.
The excerpt to forget the diet mentality is so true. Though I’ve struggled with orthorexia, I’ve never actually been on a diet. But the second I so much as think about how many calories are in something, I can’t sense my body’s needs anymore. I can’t tell when I’m hungry and let myself get so famished I’m sick. I can’t tell when I’m satisfied and eat so much I feel sick. Basically “watching my eating” means “making myself sick” one way or another. It’s difficult yet revolutionary to get across to people that I’m basically TRYING to do the exact opposite of what they think they should be doing. (especially when I tell them I’m trying to eat less fiber and more fat because it makes my body function better.)
TR, if you actually want to try, and like, plain cottage cheese, for heaven’s sake get the full fat kind. I mean, it’s *cheese*. It isn’t supposed to be fat free. Organic Valley large curd cottage cheese is so good. I’ll eat it plain on occasion, but I really like a couple of spoonfuls of it with a quarter of a canteloupe for breakfast (but only in actual season when there are actual local melons available, none of this flown-in-from-Chile crap). I also like it with a sprinkle of sugar and some fresh strawberries stirred in.
It’s a lot easier to know what it is you want when the things you’re “allowed” to want aren’t disappointing. Diet foods mess with your appetite because you never really feel hungry for them but you feel the need to eat lots and lots of quantity because there’s no flavor and no fat. Which is not to say fat-free things are bad, just that if you’re substituting the fat-free (or sugar-free, or whatever) version of something for the full-fat version you really want, you’re not going to become satisfied after eating it and then know that Yes, that’s really what you wanted.
I’ve started intuitive eating about a year and a half ago and have been so much happier since. I think the first week or two I was a little scared because you have to give yourself permission to eat whatever you want. No such thing as bad food. I think I ate peanut butter and wheathins for a week till I got sick of them. Although lapsed into dieting problems last year, I still think that intuitive eating has helped me find my balance. It’s a tool that I am trying to use again to regain my footing here.
You are like a prophet in the IE world
I just love reading this blog because you say so clearly what I can’t seem to put into words. People reading this are all intruigued by the IE concept…. whereas everyone reading my blog is still all “it’s great for you, but I could never trust myself…” and “have you lost weight with this?”
Argh. LOL.
Congrats
You should totally write a book of your own to go along with IE. I think it helps so much reading someone else’s experiences when you’re struggling with IE and wondering if you’re ‘doing it right’. 
Krista, you are a genius! I’ve been wondering what has been up with the all-fruit, all-the time eating these past few days and, BWAH! I am totally sick and the fruit has tasted so good and helped me feel better. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!
Peanut butter and Wheat Thins actually sound pretty tasty. When I first started Intuitive Eating, it was all movie theater popcorn with butter (which was FORBIDDEN when I was a child and I never wrapped my head, as an adult, around the idea that I could make that choice) and french toast.
I was sick a lot that week. *laugh*
Christie, that reminds me of ANOTHEr question I had meant to answer. Looks like I need to do a Part Two to the Primer!
I also like sweets more when I’m sick, though I like them at other times too
. Particularly tea, I almost always drink my tea plain (brown, black?); but when I’m sick I want it with cream and sugar.
I’ve been thinking a lot about “internal” eating cues vs. “external” ones (possibly prompted by seeing a link to this study: http://www.obesityresearch.org/cgi/reprint/15/12/2920.pdf ). Thanks for the pointers to IE! One thing I’ve been struggling with lately is how much to pay attention to cravings that feel more cerebral–a recent example being the cream-and-red-bean-paste pastries at the local Asian market. I’d been thinking fondly of them throughout the week, and finally had one this morning when I was running late for work and figured I could afford to be a little bit later and grab breakfast. I got the pastry not because I really listened to my body and wanted one right then, but because of a more global desire for it. Was that an internal cue, or an external one? I find that I’m very suggestible when it comes to reading/hearing about/seeing a food and then immediately feeling like I want it (there are so many tasty foods out there!). Is IE about separating out your body’s actual wants from what your brain is thinking about, or should you just go for the foods you think about?
LonieMc, yeah, I think I need to start paying more attention to doing just that.
Riv, I hear you on that, too! Thankfully it usually only happens when I’m, y’know, hungry.
But my rule is, I can have whatever I want that I see, so long as I eat something proteiny/meal-ish beforehand. Sometimes I still want what I’ve seen, sometimes I don’t!
I have had to learn to eat intuitively within the boundaries my various sensitivities and allergies have. So when I see an apple pie on a dessert bar, do I want it because it’s sweet or because it’s rich or because it’s apply or because I want apple pie? Because if I just want sweet I can have it in a way that will not trigger my allergies; if I want apple pie specifically, I’ll make apple pie that week, and skip eating the sugar-free chocolate pudding because it won’t be what I want. (I react badly to high fructose corn syrup.)
Right now I’m dialoguing with myself about what I want to eat. Of course, part of me is going, like a two year old, “More Cake! More Cake!” and the rest of me is saying, “and if you eat nothing but cake you will feel like crap soon. What MEAT do you want?” (sigh)
This taking care of ourselves is sometimes a fair bit of work.
I have decided to try the concept of intuitive eating. It really appeals to me.
I had been wanting and wanting some Taco Bell, for going on three days. I resisted the “temptation” because it wasn’t “good.” Finally, I decided to allow myself to make the choice of food wants. Of course after having denied myself solong I ordered too much. I ate a couple soft tacos and just felt very satisfied. I looked at the rest of my food and tossed it. I had to give myself permission to “waste money” too.
I learned some important lessons and am looking forward to continuing this!
How do you handle intuitive eating with a partner? I’m struggling with that concept right now. I feel like I’ve been doing some sort of intuitive eating for a while now, but my SO would benefit from it, too, and I don’t know how to plan meals that will work for the both of us.
I’m sure the Rotund could write a good book on Intuitive Eating, but there’s already some good stuff out there.
Geneen Roth is good (you can find her columsn on-line if you don’t want to buy the books).
Also, despite the fact that the first sounds like it might be a diet book, both “Overcoming Overeating” and “When Women Start Hating their Bodies” do a great job of explaining size acceptance, how to defeat body hatred, and their version of Intuitive Eating.
Oops, that should be “Stop” hating their bodies, not “Start.”
In response to robotitron, I was just talking to my husband after I read this last night. We talked about really changing how we do meals. I usually plan and cook meals, sometimes because I shopped for it that weekend, sometimes because I’m craving it. Then he comes home, and he’s eating whatever I’ve cooked. We’re going to try another approach, where we have a fridge full of food that’s healthy and tasty, and we take what we want when we want it. If that means not eating the same meals, or not at the same time, fine. We have other ways to enjoy each other’s company, and now I won’t eat when I’m not hungry because it’s “dinnertime.” It means more food prep and cooking once a week, and quieter weeknights. Good luck figuring it out with your partner!
Unfortunately, I seem to be one of those folks who can’t do this. I spent quite a few years eating what I wanted when I wanted — modeling ‘proper eating’ for my kids. I actually do enjoy a balanced meal (protein, vegetables, fresh fruit as desserts), and have kids who like their veggies! Without having a name for it, I taught this type of eating, of listening to one’s body, and my 17 year old daughter seems to have escaped the beauty industry.
Alas, I’ve gained serious quantities of weight, and I’m really not sure what to do about it — eating when I’m hungry usually ends up with me eating all the time. If I stop eating at an arbitrary quantity, I spend more hours hungry. I’m not asking for help, and I’m not here to be ‘trolling’ — but just as everyone produces their own anecdotes about things working, I did want to pipe up as one where something’s out of whack.
I didn’t realize there was a name for what I’ve been doing for the last several months, thanks to reading about HAES, among other things.
I’m really doing it now, as I’m in my first trimester of pregnancy, and eating just got much more, erm, interesting.
But yes, yes and yes! For the love of bog, food is not the enemy! You can’t just give it up like you can smoking (or rather, replace that nasty eating habit with some other activity). I like my body alive, thanks.
HawkGirl: I just wanted to wish you good luck with that. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but it sounds like it bothers you a lot, and I hope you find a solution that you’re comfortable with.
Thank you so much for this. I really needed it. Thank you.
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