So, the Navelgazing Midwife has offered up her commentary on the vaginas of fat women. And, you know, I respect her experience as it pertains to her. But she also makes a lot of VERY broad generalizations that speak to a deeply ingrained shame/hatred of fat.
Elusis, over on livejournal, originally pointed out the article to me and I am really glad she did.
Because sometimes I forget. I forget that people who claim to have your best interests at heart… well, sometimes they don’t. This medical professional (because midwives count, people – respect the midwives!) would have me believe that my vagina is defective and that it is because I am fat. This medical professional would have me believe that all fat women wet themselves because their vagina is fat. This medical professional would have me believe that all fat women cannot reach their own genitals. This medical professional would have me believe that if I cannot orgasm from penetrative sex alone, it is my fault because I am fat.
You do realize all of that is bullshit, right? At the risk of sharing too much information, my vagina is, if you’ll excuse the expression, pink and healthy. I don’t pee when I laugh. I can reach things just fine. The orgasm from penetration thing is hit or miss, but that has more to do with the construction of female genitalia than it does me being fat.
I have to wonder if this woman has totally written the clitoris off as a source of pleasure or if she has bought into the Freudian idea that vaginal orgasms are “better.”
I do have to be sympathetic because, while I don’t understand how it happened unless she wasn’t wearing any bottoms, the incident with the tampon in the pool sounds really very humiliating.
But I don’t have to buy into her explanation that it happened because she was fat.
Vaginal laxity is a common occurrence after the birth of a child, particularly if one has had multiple children. She’s a midwife, so I wonder if this is when she is examining most of her patients.
I’m glad she shared her experiences. I DO think we need to get over the thing where we’re all afraid to talk about the health of our bits. That leaves us to wonder if we are mutant aliens because something down there doesn’t look like the ones you see in porn. But I find the condescending tone she has used to respond to people infuriating (“the angry fat women have come out to play”) and her insistence that all fat vaginas = broken really just pisses me off.
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