You know what is maddening to me today? Well, every day really.
The obsession with counting calories.
The idea that, if we can just eat fewer and fewer calories we will all be healthier and fitter and happier.
I went to Subway last night because, hey, I haven’t actually seen the commercials and while I know some people are boycotting them I totally forgot that in my desire for a tuna sub with cucumbers and baby spinach. And I always, when I go to Subway, wind up with a handful of napkins.
On those napkins, they list the fat grams and caloric content of six or so of their sandwiches. They seriously push the sandwiches with fewer than 6 grams of fat – sandwiches that have less than 300 calories, on average.
Dude, 300 calories is not a lot when it comes to what your body needs to, you know, LIVE.
Here’s the thing – I hate the necessity for food. And I’ve had a VERY avoidant and adversarial relationship with it for a very long time. But, over the past year, I’ve tried really hard to cultivate a more caring and forgiving relationship with food. I’ve tried to address the pain and fear it causes instead of just not eating.
As a result (and as a result of my boyfriend moving in and demanding I eat on a regular basis), I’ve eaten three times the amount of food I was eating in the past.
And, you know, I gained ten pounds. This isn’t a number or fact that freaks me out, though, because I ate THREE TIMES what I was eating before. Compared to how I was eating previously, I freaking HAVE been devouring the world. Three meals a day! Sometimes snacks! I drink actual beverages instead of just water – sometimes those beverages are slushy alcohol drinks! Oh, the calories! Oh, the humanity!
I’ve fallen down a bit. I noticed I was feeling like complete shit, paid attention to what I was eating, and realized I was eating under 1000 calories a day. I was still eating – I was still eating three meals a day. But I was eating low-fat, low-calorie foods that just weren’t adding up to enough energy for me.
I was full of despair when I realized this. Because it seemed like I was going to have to eat even more and, given my uber-resentment levels, that was a hellish idea.
But then this totally novel and amazing idea occurred to me.
I could just stop eating diet foods. I could stop going, hey, this cereal only has 150 calories if I eat it with no milk, it will be PERFECT for breakfast. (I’m allergic to cow milk so I avoid dairy most of the time.) Instead I looked at cereals and said, hey, this tastes good and I enjoy eating it and it’s okay that it has more calories – in fact, I could eat another handful if I really want to!
Those Subway napkins make such a big deal over how the sandwich is under 300 calories. But all of these low-fat, low-cal foods are really just adding up to make it harder and harder to meet your daily caloric needs.
A bowl of cereal with no milk is anywhere from 90 to 150 calories. Have a Lean Cuisine or something for lunch as so many of my figure-conscious female coworkers do – those are about 180 to 250. Have a sub for dinner – let’s be generous and say you have a sub with 400 of those devilish, delicious calories.
You’re avoiding snacks because snacking is bad. And so you wind up with 800 calories for your day.
I’m not making that menu up. And, fat or thin, law of thermodynamics or no, 800 calories is not enough for the majority of people to maintain their current health level. That doesn’t mean losing weight – it means the body will compensate in other ways.
Have we grown so accustomed to denying ourselves that we even deny ourselves basic levels of functional nutrient intake? Or are our cultural assumptions about how much we, as Americans, are consuming really that out of whack with reality? I’m betting it is some of both.
Calorie-counting is another manifestation of the diet culture we are trying to bring down. It’s detrimental to us in so many ways. Eat what you want to eat. See how it makes you feel. Go from there. Be smart and make choices that work for you.
That ten pounds? If the “eat less and exercise more” people were to be believed, I’d have gained way more than 10 pounds. After the way I’ve been eating this year? If I believed them I’d be bed-ridden and unable to walk.
Instead, that ten pounds and I chased my boyfriend around the parking lot because he put an ice cube down my shirt. (Yes, we are known to act about 12 years old, on occasion.) Then I had some chips and a soda – NOT a diet soda – with my tasty, tasty sandwich.
28 Comments
OK – so I just found your blog this week! I’m loving your writing! Thanks!
I love your take on this. I’m learning that you’re so right!
And I’ve been known to chase my boyfriend around for the very same reason!
Thank you for reading, Tammy!
You know, I love being able to act like a little kid with someone and just play. I think we get so caught up in our ideas of what grown ups are supposed to act like that we get very fearful when things might make us look silly.
I missed the Subway boycott thing totally. What’s going down? What’s the scuttlebutt?
I rarely consume over 1000 calories in a given day. I charge out of bed before 6 every morning. I exercise intensively almost every day because I love it and crave the exhilaration. I never have that mid-day slump at work. I stay up late because I usually don’t feel like sleeping. I have bloodwork done a few times a year and everything’s always good.
Everybody’s different. Do what works for you.
My MIL is a calorie counter, who periodically obsesses over my weight as well as her own.
“You know if you drank diet soda instead of…”
“Seriously, Mom, when is the last time you saw me drink ANY soda?”
*Thinks* “A couple of years ago?”
“Yeah, I have MAYBE a soda a month. I don’t think switching to diet for that is going to do a whole lot.”
“Well, every calorie counts.”
“Not when the alternatives give me blinding migraines they don’t.”
This is but a small sample of what I’ll be in for when I visit her this weekend.
I really do love her, but god damn it, sometimes. Fortunately the Boy is more than willing to leap to my defense when her fatphobia bleeds over on me in front of him.
DDK, the point is EXACTLY that different things work for different people. Which just makes counting calories that much more ridiculous. It’s the cultural mindset that I have issues with, not your individual diet. I’d say you are probably a rarity in your caloric consumption, but I know a male friend of mine who runs much the same way. It works for him and I am THRILLED that he has found something that makes him feel good.
Counting calories? Doesn’t make anyone feel good. It’s a deprivation mindset.
That midday slump only happens to me when I haven’t eaten adequately for the day. And, after a few days of less than 1000 calories, I get generally angry at pretty much everything. *grin* It’s no fun for me but less fun for those around me.
We don’t need to count calories to eat in a way that makes us feel good, you know?
I decided last week (when I found this website and a few others) that I was taking back full calorie soda. I WILL buy my blue sky ginger ale, even though there are 130 calories. I LIKE it! I WILL NOT feel bad for drinking a beverage I enjoy when my friends are drinking diet coke or water. My whole life, my Mom has obsessed over her weight and her body (and it hasn’t really changed). I WILL NOT be 50 and still hating myself! Thanks so much for your commentaries. They really help. In the past week, I have become much more aware of the comments that women make about themselves pretty much constantly. A friend of mine was telling me why she “deserved” the cookie she was eating, because she had been “good”.
So I am taking cookies back, too.
I’m really proud of breaking my habit of calorie counting. I couldn’t tell you when I stopped, though it was right around the time when I asked my husband if he ever estimated the calories in what he was eating, and he told me no – and I realized that I ALWAYS did, and boy what a waste of energy when it was clearly not making me happier or thinner or healthier.
I always wonder about calorie counters, too. It seems that it is pretty impossible to only eat 800 calories a day- I bet most of the people that think that is all they are consuming are actually snacking and adding extra dressing and cheese and forgetting about that pop they had in the afternoon. Personally, I know that when I deny myself enough food, I start grabbing whatever is closest by- my body is going to get those calories, so even if I think Baby Ruth’s are gross, I will eat one because my body is lacking my necessary calories. I am a grazer, and I tend to like lots of little bits of food rather than three big meals, so those food journals, while they must be the most boring thing in the world- at least make sense.
I think my general “diet” is to eat as much as I need, try to maximize fruits and veggies whenever possible, but not to stress out if I miss them for the day, and to make sure I get some delicious fat every day too.
ARGH! I learned how to calorie-count when I was SIX FREAKING YEARS OLD!!! From a “helpful” hospital dietician, no less, where I was taken to deal with my Little Miss Sunshine-esque figure. I used to sit in restaurants counting up the calories in my family members’ breakfasts. Who teaches six year olds how to count calories, for god’s sake? But I look at the calorie count of nothing now, because I think calories are the biggest crock of sh*t when it comes to determining the ACTUAL nutritional value of food.
The really stupid thing about all those “low fat” and “fat free” products is that they just make up the flavour by adding loads of sugars. Which, I’m convinced, are scientifically worse for my body….not talking weight, but rather, things like the endocrine system. I’d rather have full fat products and choose the sugars I WANT to eat. Like a great big piece of pecan pie. (Mmmm, pecan pie.) Hell, it’s getting frustrating enough trying to find NON-fat free yogurt!
But I do still like diet cola. It’s totally a personal preference now, nothing to do with weight anymore…I started drinking Tab and Fresca back at age six, and I can’t stand the icky, sticky taste of any sugared drinks. (Unless it’s a marguerita.)
I love this post. I tried the whole counting calories thing, and I didn’t like what was happening in my mind. Instead of my day being about what I was doing, it became all about what I was eating or not eating, with a serious win/loss mentality.
Have we grown so accustomed to denying ourselves that we even deny ourselves basic levels of functional nutrient intake?
One of the most difficult and ingrained perceptions I began to change when recovering from an eating disorder is the view of calories of something awful to be avoided at all costs, into instead as that of simple units of energy needed by my body to function.
Hell, it’s getting frustrating enough trying to find NON-fat free yogurt!
Oh, SING IT. This is possibly my number one grocery shopping pet peeve.
Especially since the fat-free stuff is inevitably loaded with HFCS, to put back in the flavor that was removed with the fat.
Yes well we’ve got to do something! Even if it is useless, or makes things worse we can ignore this because we have the appearance of gaining control. Because that’s what it’s all about, the appearance of control.
Jenlovesponies, it is not only not impossible, it’s pretty freakin’ common. I love hearing that people have these reactions to shorting themselves on food because it means there ARE people with hunger that functions as it is supposed to. Unfortunately, the less I eat, the less I want to eat and I am far from alone in that kind of response. I think it is always problematic to assume that, anytime there is some food intake or exercise reporting that seems odd, the person doing the reporting is wrong. It is too reminiscent of people who refuse to believe that fat people eat and exercise as reported, instead choosing to believe that all fat people must be secret gluttons.
That said, I think your food plan – especially your determination not to freak out if you don’t eat enough “healthy” foods – is a good one. Rock on!
Dorianne, six years old? SO RIDICULOUS! I really can only boggle every time I hear stuff like this, though I know my own experiences are ridiculous as well. The commonplace nature of totally whack stuff like this just blows my mind. In other news, pomegranate margueritas are amazingly good. I only mention it because you brought up margueritas. *grin*
My best friend moved to California over a year ago – she just came down from this insane eating kick where a “nutritionist” recommended she drop down to 600 calories a day. I almost paid my girlfriend my first visit to Cali … to kick said “nutritionist”’s ass. Thankfully, she saw the light and called to report she had snapped out of her body funk. Man, what is it they put in the water out there?
Also, I happen to love Subway napkins … they’re big and square and good for sopping up all the mustard, etc. from my FOOTLONG sub. Oh, I guess they do have writing on them, too … =)
I dunno… after my (still going) quest to find the nutritonal info from Quiznos, the easily found info from Subway is a big relief. Of course, I usually just use that to justify eating 3 little Cocoavia bars later in the day (yeah I’m an addict). Also though, I haven’t seen the offending commercials… and well, the dude at the Subway by my warehouse has a crush on me so my “double turkey no cheese 6″ sub” is usually prepared in an extremely perfect and exacting manner upon my entrance to the restaurant. Not sure if you’d call me a calorie counter, but I do adjust my meals for the day depending on my level of activity – heavy lifting day – more protien higher calories, cardio day- lighter fare, but nothing crazy. BTW, the double cheeseburger at 5 Guys is stupendous…
Counting calories is such a way of life to me, I don’t even know when I started. I can’t imagine stopping. But you do make it sound nice.
PS Lean Cuisine is more like 280-370
Dangit! After a brief stint in a popular “weight loss program”, where they teach you to count “points”, so we can all look like Jenny McCarthy, I can’t so much as walk into the kitchen without compulsively doing the math. An egg–2, 2 Tb peanut butter–4, a bucket of raw celery–0. I’m no longer paying to be weighed like cattle and forced to attend every meeting, but it’s hard to get all the math out of your head. BTW, the raspberry soda I just had–3 points of sugary, watery, totally useless deliciosity.
I think counting calories is stupid. I’ve had to do it a few times for health reasons and each time I’m reminded of how pointless it is. I always suprise the doctor/nutirionist (whoever I happen to be seeing at the moment) because I never eat the ‘right’ amount of calories. Time and time again, I don’t eat ENOUGH. And yet, are the pounds just dropping off? Nope, never gonna happen.
FFG – I am also a veteran of the “points counting” program. It took me YEARS to stop looking at every food in terms of its point-worthiness and I still, if I look at nutritional info, will start working it out in my head. It’s like brainwashing.
I myself am a calorie counter, and I try not to get “emotionally” involved with the actual caloric number. its more like a mental note I guess… actually thats probably just an excuse, a way to keep me “in line” which is just dieting at its finest. why is it so hard to stop though? not a day goes by without me weighing my food and logging it into a spreadsheet… how do you stop that behavior when its so comforting because you see the results you want!
Your issue isn’t with counting calories, it’s with -cutting- them to unsustainable levels. While this can go hand in hand, it’s definately not always so.
Adrienne, I so love every Subway I’ve ever been a regular customer at. Seems like they must train their people to spot the regulars, because usually they’ll start building my favorite sammich for me before I even make it to the counter. They’ve never managed to sell me on their food as health food, and I doubt they ever will.
I get ticked at a lof of the “low calorie” options for foods because I live on a shoestring food budget. My husband and I are trying to get as many calories into our diet as we can since we don’t usually have enough money to prepare more than one meal a day. Diet foods, lite foods, fat free foods, they’re all a symptom of a culture that thinks poor people shouldn’t get adequate nourishment, or maybe “health” is something that only the affluent deserve. Or heck, just food that’s not primarily made up of processed carbs is hard to afford on food stamps, every time they find some new antioxidant there’s another food the price shoots sky high on. I haven’t seen fresh fruit and veggies in over a month!
i used to be an expert calorie counter and WW points mathmatician. In fact, i hated cooking with whole foods (and preferred packaged foods) because the calories were so difficult to measure, whereas in packaged crap, it was already laid out for me on the label. DUH. i’m working on forgiving myself now for my previous food stupidity, and practicing demand /intuitive eating – which YES, is different for everyone. that’s the beauty of it.
As for subway, UGH with the calories on the napkins. I’m NOT defending them at all, BUT, the food industry IS so much about competition between players (because lets face it – we need to eat to live, so we’re somewhat of a captive audience to them. They need to constantly market to us, because if we’re not eating their brand of food, then we’re eating one of their competitors’. it’s their JOB to get us back to eating THEIR food, knowwhadimean?) . Subway needs to constantly advertise the reason to eat at subway – the calorie/”health” content of their meals, in contrast to a burger joint. that’s all i think they’re doing there – reinforcing their whole ad strategy. That being said, their “anti obesity” commercials make me sick.
Hell, it’s getting frustrating enough trying to find NON-fat free yogurt!
Oh, SING IT. This is possibly my number one grocery shopping pet peeve.
Mine too! I just moved, and a friend with a car was nice enough to give me a lift to the market for the big “empty kitchen” stocking trip. There was not a single brand of non-fat-free-yogurt (aka regular) and I said to my friend, “This is ridiculous. It’s freaking yogurt. It’s ALREADY healthy!!”
This lady carefully comparing brands to put in her cart full of diet food gave me a look like I’d run over her puppy.
All I can say to that is, it’s probably a good thing she’d moved on before I discovered the entire section (seriously, like 3 feet of case) of fat-free cheese and completely broke my brain trying to work out how that was even possible given what cheese is.
This reminds me of how maddened and sick I feel when I see my mother measuring her portions in actual MEASURING CUPS – because, god forbid, we wouldn’t want to eat more than 150 calories’ worth of that evil dried fruit! Ugh.
Amy, my issue IS with counting calories. Because, as I think most of the comments to this post illustrate, counting calories leads to a lot of obsessive and negative thoughts and feelings about food. There is no practical reason for your average 6-year-old to be taught to count calories. There is no reason for your average ADULT to be obsessing over their caloric intake each and every single day. Counting calories is a tool of our diet culture. And it is a tool that is used against us.