Last night, I watched television. This is a big deal because, really, I haven’t watched tv with any sort of frequency since I was in high school. And even that was mostly Jeopardy.
I watched television last night and while the show was enjoyable, the commercials just killed me. And not just because they destroy my ability to get into a show and actually care about the people – because they are calculated to make you feel like crap.
And that, more than any complaint about plot line or story quality, is why I don’t watch television. The format doesn’t work for me, but more than that, the constant barrage of negative messages doesn’t work for me.
It’s the same thing with women’s magazines. While I’m sure there is some valuable content (I’m actually not sure of this at all), the overall experience is incredibly negative. I stand against it. I will pick up Garden & Gun before I’ll pick up an issue of Cosmo when sitting in a waiting room. Because the ads and articles are DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD.
This is one instance where we must choose to participate in our own mistreatment. There is no law that says you have to read magazines or watch television. And I get that they can be entertaining. I just don’t like my entertainment to come with a side of mental abuse.
Because that’s what it is. It’s a concentrated course of, “You are not good enough. You will never be good enough. You are bad.” And every time we pick up Elle or Vogue or sit through another set of those damn Subway commercials, we are opening ourselves up to it.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There are some amazing ads out there. I love advertising because it is a really socially interactive art form. And my best friend works in advertising. Not all ads are out to get us. But they do reflect our current social values and looking in that mirror can be vastly damaging.
I’m not going to condemn all of television, even though the format really and truly doesn’t work for me. *grin* But if you must watch it, turn off the commercials. Stop watching them. Don’t just turn off the sound, either. Leave the room if you have to. But stop inviting those messages into your psyche.
And throw away your women’s magazines while you are at it. I don’t care what size you are – this is true for everyone. Women’s magazines have never been about empowering and educating women. They’ve been about reminding us of our place and manufacturing things for us to worry about. Stop riding that roller coaster, it will only make you sick.
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I don’t watch live TV either, I just rent the shows I want to see on DVD. Much more entertaining that way (okay, I probably hate delayed narrative gratification as much as I do ads, so it’s really nice to be able to cram down five episodes of something good in a single night). And it’s probably no more expensive than cable. Really, the only good thing I think I’m missing by doing it that way is Jon Stewart.
I totally agree about the greater narrative fix from watching more episodes in a row. I find it really hard to care about characters when I’m only spending 42 minutes a week with them, you know? But mostly, I think the way tv is broadcast is just harmful.
And Jon Stewart is available through iTunes. *grin*
I’ve found that any time in my life I’ve bought those magazines it was during a period of disordered eating/extreme body hatred, so if I notice myself glancing at them these days I try to walk away as quickly as possible.
However, I can’t say I feel the same about TV, but that may be because I never watch the commercials
Women’s magazines have never been about empowering and educating women. They’ve been about reminding us of our place and manufacturing things for us to worry about.
I think its important to note that many popular women’s magazines like Harpers, Good Housekeeping and the Ladies’ Home Journal were all started by men, managed by men and most articles were written by men for a very long time before women broke into a business which was purportedly all about them. I’m sure the magazines are much more integrated now, but none have strayed so far from their original credos.
A-freaking-men.
This is why I watch zero hours of commercial TV in a typical month and watch all my favorite TV shows once they’ve come out on DVD.
I don’t subscribe to women’s magazines, but I’d occasionally read them at the gym (and still do occasionally). But I think it is poisonous in a lot of ways, and I think I’ll start bringing my “Skeptical Inquirer” mags to the gym to read on the treadmill/elliptical instead.
I tune out commercials so thoroughly that when my boyfriend comments on how misogynistic they are, I go “huh what?”
And I kind of enjoy reading women’s magazines for the “oh my god, these people really hate women AND men” shock factor. But without ironic distance and a goal of cultural anthropological excavation? Yeah, no good.
When enough people around us start yammering about how awesome a show is we’ll either NetFlix it or just buy it on DVD. Then, where the episodes fade to black for where the commercials go the entire household yells “BUY STUFF!” and then its back to the show.
@Rachel: totally. It’s very good to remember that. Also, remember that the schizophrenic messages they send can be even more toxic (love you for you, girlfriend, but love yourself more at a size 2 and with a $2,000 dress)
@ TR: Thanks for remembering me, love.
I’d like to add that, like fashion magazines who so closely share the ad world, advertising has also been dominated by men for a very long time. Really, women’s issues are just beginning to really take hold (i.e., the Dove ads, however you feel about them). Women are becoming creative directors and partners and all of a sudden……addy folks are having the fight they should have had 10 years ago. Srsly. Here’s an example of an argument I see all day on addy blogs:
Person 1: This pic of a woman’s ass is awful.
2: sex sells
1: But, it’s isn’t even a CREATIVE ad.
2: sex sells
1: And how can you even be sure the target audience for WATER is into women?
2: sex sells
1: Can you think of anything else to say?
All *I* can say is: I’m out here in the industry, shooting down images of deathly skinny women lying about on car hoods. One by one.
And that’s why I pay extra every month to have DV-R. I can’t stand commercials that are meant specifically to make me feel crappy about myself. I love fast-fowarding through them now.
All *I* can say is: I’m out here in the industry, shooting down images of deathly skinny women lying about on car hoods. One by one.
Which is absolutely fabulous and one of the reasons I love you. However, if a person really wants to feel better about themselves right now this very week and they are reading those magazines? One of the absolute best things they can do is just stop.
It seems counter-productive, because the women who are slowly slowly taking control of the fashion industry may very well be making positive changes. And you’d think we’d want to support that – I’m sure we all DO want to support that. But women gaining more control in the industry does not automatically mean they are going to change the paradigm presented as normal in the pages of those magazines. And I’m not sure it is fair to ask people to continue to submit themselves to the kind of abuse presented in your average women’s magazine in the hopes that it will one day be better, you know?
I’m not sure there is any saving of the traditional women’s magazine. I’d love to buy and support a different kind of magazine but reading about fashion isn’t worth the hit to my self-image.
i couldn’t agree more.
and it’s only a matter of time before commercials show up on DVDs. *shudder*
Right now, I’m boycotting Subway because I HATE their commercials. I rant every time one of them comes on, drives DH nuts…lol
But I refuse to support a company, no matter how tasty their food is, if they insist on maligning fat people’s choices.
I was just arguing with a friend about the new Dove ad, she was saying she didn’t think commercials were harmful or sent a negative message. I just wanted to shake her and ask: “Are you blind, woman?!” So no, I don’t watch commercials. And I don’t *read* women’s magazines, but I’m forced to look at the headlines every week in the checkout line at the grocery stores… and the tabloids, which are worse. Nothing like seeing bodies that are slimmer and firmer than mine listed under: “Worst beach bodies!!!!” for delivering a blow to the old self-esteem.
AMEN.
And that is exactly why the only TV I watch is PBS, and the only magazines I buy are of the knitting variety. I used to spend more time with the boyfriend ranting at the commercials (which are also insulting and degrading to men, not just women) than discussing the shows, and it really got old pretty quickly. I won’t even get into the trash that most women’s magazines are… ugh.
Yes, yes, yes! I really hate commercials and will mute the TV when they come on. My bf thinks I am weird because I hate them so much, but they are so hard to handle. I interviewed an advertising executive for a class last fall and he had the idea that he was giving people what they wanted. His argument is that people want to desire more or better things. My viewpoint is that we need to understand and reject that viewpoint and those messages.
Yay for torrenting!
I completely agree. I have been much more relaxed since I have given up “women’s” magazines and TV. The only drawback is that I have to wait a year to see my favorite shows on DVD, but it is so worth it (I cheat once in a while and that just reinforces my resolution).
Oh, and sometimes I forget Mother’s Day without the relentless barrage of TV advertising for it (my mom’s cool, she doesn’t mind). But without advertising, I don’t even stress out over Christmas and Valentine’s Day anymore. It’s amazing what these negative messages can do to our outlook on life.
nother shout out for a DVR, we rarely watch shows live (if we do they are usually the news or PBS) and just fast forward thru commercials. We we watch live, I love my mute button
This is why almost all TV I watch is either PBS or on the internets. Because the internets knows me and sends me nothing but Lane Bryant ads.
I believe advertising is maybe the root of all evil. I rant about it nonstop, go to focus groups whenever I get the chance and rant about it nonstop, and constantly point out the misogyny, sizism, looksism, racism, ageism, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. I don’t always avoid all of it; I want to be relatively informed so I can point out the insanity to anybody who’ll listen to me. I think of myself as kind of a footsoldier in the war against Marketing Evil.
One of the best things my kids ever did for us was break our antenna. We stopped being able to afford cable when they were born, and so we were making do with network TV until they broke our antenna. Since then, we just watch our fave shows on DVD either via NetFlix, or waiting until they’re on sale and buying them.
It’s amazing how much more mental energy I have in the day to think about, y’know, ACTUAL THINGS, now that I don’t spend half my day either railing against terrible ads or feeling crappy about myself because I’ve fallen prey to them.
I had been sad about the lack of Jon Stewart, but am thrilled to read that I can watch him via iTunes. Woot!
The Onion btw, had another one of their “so farcical it’s true” stories on advertising last week. Pure. Genius.
Thorn, that article is fantastic. Oh Onion, you do so much good for my bitter, black little heart.
Yeah, I used to want to be in advertising, but I can’t for the life of me remember why. I think I thought it would be a fascinating challenge, but that’s simply not a good enough reason to sell my soul.
Also, I’m a huge, huge TV junkie (The Office is my life, basically) but commercials really do piss me off. I find it a little therapeutic to just rant at them sometimes, but more often than not, it just makes me feel worse. I really should exercise that mute button more often. ^^
I live in some weird twilight zone where I don’t get broadcast television. At first I was jonesing for my weekly Law & Order fix, but now I just tell the library what shows I want to check out the dvds for and I wait patiently. I still miss having hot and cold running PBS, but I think I’ve talked the hubby out of ordering cable tv when we move. I don’t miss the advertising one bit, that’s for sure.
I actually LOVE women’s magazines. I subscribe to four different ones. You should definitely make a difference between the kind of womens magazines though.
For example I subscribe to American Glamour and Allure and I buy Marie-Claire on a regular basis. I don’ think you can say these magazines give the same message as Cosmopolitan or gossip magazines like Star.
Did you ever read Glamour? Did you ever read Marianne Pearls articles that explain what exactly is being done to women in this world? And I am fat but I guess I am confident enough to look at adds with skinny models and still feel attractive. I think if you know for yourself that women come in all shapes and sizes then you should be on the safe side.
Am a bit confused by some of the above posts … what’s so evil about Subway? Sometimes, a girl wants chips … sometimes apples … I like the choices. What am I missing?
Also, agree that the majority of commercials are a vast wasteland of suck; however, I make complete exceptions for pet commercials. While I wouldn’t ever feed my dog the crap they’re selling, their commercials are a-freakin-dorabale and make me well up every time (especially the one featuring shelter dogs). And I get a big kick out of the guy who comes in and starts calling for his dog … I think it’s “Mr. Barky Von Schnauzer!” … in this really happy, dorky voice.
Dame Me; – I think some people are deeply offended by Subways latest commercials targeting parents for their kids meal options. The commercial literally equates “saving” children from obesity on par with that of saving them from head trauma and death by making them wear bike helmets – in other words, becoming fat is a death sentence so hey, eat our “healthy” subs and new sides so your kid won’t get fat.
Another DVR fan – hate commercials. The last time I watched live TV I swear – EVERY commercial break started out with a Nutrisystem or Bowflex ad. As a preschooler my son only ever watched Noggin (preschool shows, no commercials) and now that he’d older he watches recorded shows and knows how to work the 30 second skip button like a pro
This is why, in my opinion, TiVo is one of the greatest inventions in modern times. Sure, pausing live tv is pretty awesome, but even more awesome is not having to watch any commercials unless I want to. It really did change my TV experience and my outlook in general. There’s a lot of great stuff on TV these days–especially if you get all the Discovery channels
Ali, I actually HAVE read those recently – and they are just as full of ads and articles that are designed to, in effect, keep women in their place. Marie Claire is still perpetuating the idea that women have to conform to a certain standard to be “real” women – to have value and meaning as a woman you have to be striving for male approval.
And it isn’t just skinny women in ads. It’s ads that tell us it is unacceptable to age. It’s ads that tell us it is unacceptable to have a certain kind of hair. Ads that continue to sell distractions to us. It’s every story that perpetuates the diet culture that surrounds us.
Hell, it’s stories that delve into what men want out of sex and how to provide it rather than exploring what women want out of sex and how we can get it for ourselves.
So, no, I’m actually not going to differentiate between stuff like Allure and stuff like Cosmo. Gossip rags like Star aren’t even being discussed because they are gossip rags, not so much women’s magazines. It’s not just a matter of “if you are confident it won’t affect you.” Because, in many ways, it WILL.
A few years ago, my idea of vegging/comforting myself was food + girly magazine. It took me a while to realize/admit that reading the magazines made me feel like shit about myself and that for the most part, I didn’t believe 98% of what was printed in them. It wasn’t a difficult decision to stop buying them. I agree that they’re detrimental to our view of ourselves. I remember reading Seventeen when I was younger and being absolutely terrified because I looked NOTHING like those girls and I didn’t act like those girl EITHER and omgz, my life is over.
Also, I rarely watch live TV anymore, thanks to the interwebz. But when I do, it’s very rarely network television and more often the History Channel, the Food Network, or HGTV.
Of course, that said, 90% of the world pisses me off, even when I stay in my own home and don’t surf the web or watch tv, so you know, maybe it’s just me
This is an old post I’m commenting on, so I don’t know if you will see it; I might send you an email on top of this.
If you’re interested in someone who’s done some study on the mechanics of advertising, you should check out “Advertising and the End of the World” by Sut Jhally.
Whoa. Like, srsly. Pirate Bay it now.
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