I don’t feel very NICE today. I have started my day with a discussion about the merits (or lack thereof) of “high” culture versus “low” culture and have had to whip out my metaphoric literary cock that it might be measured so that I will be granted credibility in the face of my defense of people who read Harry Potter books.
Because, for serious y’all, the Harry Potter books are not causing the downfall of literary America. Our shitty national literature of jaded cynicism is doing that all on its own.
But I digress! Because this is not a literary blog. If I wrote a literary blog, it would be full of foul-mouthed ponderings of why anyone would want to read 9/10 of the crap that passes for literature these days. Just because a person knows how to craft a sentence, well, that doesn’t mean they have a story worth telling. Facility with the language does not make one a gifted author!
Fortunately for all of you, this is not a literary blog. This is a body politics blog. And so I transfer my mood of snarky intellectual elitism to this topic. And here is what I want to say, while I am feeling snobbish enough to simply say it and not couch things in “tact” and “diplomacy.”
You, person who is so concerned about my health, you show your concern in harmful ways that undermine your message. You either need to just suck it up and say you hate fat people or stop pretending that you are concerned about my health. If you were really concerned about my health you would be a fat activist working to ensure that fat people receive adequate medical care instead of the bullshit we deal with now.
You, person who thinks fat people are gross so you shouldn’t have to live with them, you should learn that the world does not revolve around your aesthetics. My worth as a human being is not determined by whether or not you want to fuck me. I don’t want to fuck you either. Because you are a shallow-minded idiot and, quite frankly, your brain is too small to turn me on.
You, fat person who cuts down other fat people because your own self-loathing has convinced you that fat=bad, you need to stop pretending to be the fat police. Your aesthetic, as I mentioned to someone else above, is not a universal aesthetic and I have no moral duty to present myself in a manner that you find appealing. Fat activism is going to work in a lot of different ways and if you want to conform to the dominant social ideal of beauty I am not going to say stop. But I have no moral obligation to do the same. Fat people shame other fat people better than anyone else ever and it sucks.
You, fat person who thinks I am talking about snark, you need to reread what I just wrote because as long as it doesn’t get back to the person being snarked, I don’t really care. I don’t GET the need to snark on people but as long as it doesn’t leak, I hope you are getting what you need from it. Also, thanks for continuing to post entries from here in various fat snark places. I appreciate the numbers.
You, thin person who has never dealt first hand with fat prejudice who thinks I am being over-sensitive and taking things too seriously…. I don’t have a polite response to that. But thanks for dismissing my concerns without ever having a real discussion about WHY I am concerned. I appreciate that the issues I have to deal with every single day just don’t seem real or important to you.
Y’all, I am fed up, for today at least, with being nice about this shit. There has been a lot of discussion, among certain friends, that well-behaved people rarely change anything and THAT is the truth. Maybe we all need to remind ourselves of that a little bit.
15 Comments
“Rargh”ing with you. I, too, have recently been reminded that “politeness” is not always the best strategy for addressing oppression and that I need to bring the attitude I take on with other justice issues to this justice issue. I’m sure online folks would never believe I’m timid and “polite” about fat issues in person. heh I’m working on it.
*wild applause*
you rule.
Go, you.
And I must add that it boggles the mind that anyone at all can live in American society and not believe in the existence of fat prejudice.
Hear hear!!
Thanks for this post. It’s especially appreciated today, having just come from the kitchen bearing my lunch, which received the following comment – complete with eyes raised in disbelief – from a coworker:
“you’re going to eat ALL THAT?”
I think there are times when diplomacy is a good call (say…war in the Middle East), and times when it should be set aside (say…when being encouraged to go quietly into some dark night or other). Say it loud: I’m fat, and I’m proud!
Rock on.
A-friggin-MEN.
Too bleeding right, girl!
Right on. Righteous, even.
You GO girl, on ALL of those points. I am so tired of being polite, ecspecially when being heavier then someone else makes the whole world seem to think that your weight is their concern.
Thanks for an awesome blog!
I
Eep! Wha happen? Let me try that again:
I [heart] The Rotund.
Hot damn! Right on! Amen!
I thought about your blog while we were at Disneyland. You see, Disneyland is not a fat-friendly place. It’s all about packing people in the rides and so seats are small and seatbelts are of a limited length. I was on one of those free-fall rides by myself while hubby sat with the kids and a tiny, narrow-boned Japanese lady in her mid-20s was sat next to me with her boyfriend. The delineate the seats, there are these little bar/handhold things that poke up from the seat bottoms. I got in, did my belt, and my hips went from the bar-thingy on the right to the bar-thingy on the left. The Japanese lady turned to her male companion and started talking about the fat girl next to her and how she couldn’t get her hand on the bar thing to hold on. All of it was in Japanese, but it was still clear from her motions and expressions what she was saying. And I know in many Asian cultures, fat is discussed openly and unabashedly. I don’t think Japan is one of them, but whatever. My point was not that she was being rude and thought she was being covert because she was speaking in Japanese. My point was that my HIPS went from the bar on one side to the bar on the other. I’m fat on the front and back, but my sides? My hip bones are about 1/2 inch under my skin. It’s the joy of having birthed 2 babies. My hipbones alone filled the space alloted to me, and only just. If I was even a tiny bit wider, I wouldn’t have been able to fit between the bary-thingies and, thus, wouldn’t have been able to ride on the rode after paying $60-some dollars to get into the park. And there were fat people in the park. And they fit on some of the rides–indeed the majority of them–but there were plenty of rides with benches out front where people were waiting for others to finish. And those rides tended to be the ones that adults were more likely to want to ride on, like the roller coasters. I know that size is an issue for some of the rides (and indeed, my height was an impediment on some of the rollercoasters where I juuuuuuust fit in the car and I’m a leggy 5′10″. I’d hate to see someone really tall try to get in the Space Mountain ride), but for others? Minor changes like omiting the bar/handle thingy on the Tower of Terror ride would have made it accessible for far more people. Longer seat belts? Ditto. It just seemed like there were several rides where the designer had included unneccesary additions that ended up excluding people needlessly.